I do that thing too, where you're still having a conversation with someone, after that person has left the room. Sometimes the actual conversation ended just because it was the natural time for the interaction to draw to close, like when I am finished with my client interaction. I enjoy these highly charged interactions with the people who come to me for clearing, because they are always buoyed by a mutual curiosity for and love of this subject matter: past and parallel lives and worlds, growth, philosophy, etc. The permutations of interesting exploration areas are endless. So, sometimes after I have concluded the session, I am sparked off on some thrilling new avenues where downloads of fresh insights can to pour into my consciousness. Therefore, in this way, this sort of 'conversation' continues.
I have been thinking and feeling into a situation I have experienced over the course of this past month that has brought me deeper into practicing the most profound lessons of compassion and detachment. I had a synchronistic encounter with someone that I have known casually over the past 20 years or so that resulted in being commissioned to do this level one work for this person. I accepted, because I knew that it was right, that I was put in this place at this time to do what I do to help this person.
But, immediately afterwards, I experienced some very strong resistance to doing this particular soul's work. I kept entertaining flashbacks of past interactions and how I had almost always felt bullied by this person. This was an immediate red flag to myself that said to me, "This is where you Practice compassionate detachment." Oh yes, theory won't do anything for you without practice! Yes, this meant not using the distorted lens of the past- who I was in that past and how I perceived that other person, then- but, understanding this now encounter as *a Formless Present in which two Timeless Beings have come together in 'A Moment' to do an Important Work Together*.
I am not saying that I just had this download and everything was clear as a bell and I went at this soul's record with accuracy and abandon. No. It took a while. I need to work through some layers, and I aimed to do it quickly! Because this kind of endeavor does not work without a clear and open mind and a clear and open heart. I did the thing that works for me- I erased the person from my mind, decided that they were a stranger to me (as really most people are, as I am convinced that the only person one can really ever truly know is one's own Self- and even this is a challenge for most people). I realize that the reason that I prefer my clients to be unknown to me is that it makes it so easy to be non-judgmental when I have no personal history with someone. Talk about 'stepping up the game'. This Soul really brought it to me!
One of the things that I appreciate about they way that I work and know myself is- I know when my accuracy is 'off' because I feel it as certain distinct bodily sensations. It isn't just the feeling of knowing that I do not attempt to 'work' when I feel physically or mentally or emotionally tired, stressed, had a difficult day, or what have you. I understand that I am not being clear or non-judgmental when I feel my heart pinch closed, or a pressure in my head at the third eye, or my throat feels blocked. It varies, but any of my personal physical sensations let me know when I am in no shape to get accurate information from some Beloved's Record. And, that is the time to step back, way back... way, way back!
So, I stepped back then went at it again, and again, in small sessions until the entire soul profile was completed, blocks/restrictions cleared and all organized to deliver to one amazing Being! Whew!
This was some the 'conversation' that I have been having off and on since that client left the room. One thing was Me, marveling again, about how we all are assisting one another on the trail to our own awakening. These 'assists' come along wearing forms of all shapes and sizes. And, how challenging it can be for us humans to make space for others to change. I can say that because I have experienced not feeling the room to be who I evolved into with many people from my past, and I have also been the one who could not find the space for someone else to show me who they had become. And I think/feel to myself, "Damn! I of all people..." when I caught myself looking at this being as if they were the one that I knew before, before the clearing, before this clean slate was created. Another deep lesson for me: total Surrender to the Now. I ask myself, "How can I now Be with this being, completely freed from the past and now in this present state of clarity..." This requires a slowness and a steady, gentle directing of the Attention to the Present and into the Heart. This can be scary territory. It seems to be why we're here, though :) And how unfair to unconsciously pigeon-hole someone back into a reality that they are no longer experiencing.
I AM Present. I AM with You in the Now. Because we live, we grow. And so it goes...
Love from, Ursula Carrie
(*) this is a quote that stuck with me from Serena Dyer and Wayne Dyer's collaboration, Don't Die With Your Music Still in You