19 September 2017

{Unhealed Pattern- Soul Imprint- Draconian Invasion - writing February 11-18, 2015}- part one, from "earth~spirit"

Unhealed Pattern
Soul Imprint, Affecting Lifetimes
Feeling Unsafe, Being Threatened and Abused in My Home
Likely origin of pattern- the Draconian Invasion of Hadar-Beta Centauri
February 11, 2015
I promised myself last night, as I am re-reading this book on the Akashic Records, that I would then record what I had brought out into clarity last night. Not that I haven’t already known of this information, but now it would seem that I am meant to do something constructively with it because I have a recurring pattern of being threatened by negative forces in my Home. I am meant to begin to write down from the first incident and lifetime that I can remember and continue throughout all of the lives that I can recall where this is a deep theme. It is important because it is time to release myself from this, else I will most likely never know any peace or self-dominion in the place that I call “home”, nor shall I ever realize my dream of the Ursus Sanctuary or Casa Luna. And perhaps even I may not have these dreams once this process has been completed. This I do not know. My Lifetimes and the Record are teaching and transforming me all the time.

February 18, 2015
Doing this kind of work can lead me into seeing how my emotions are twisted like a neglected skein of yarn. Sitting down to unravel this requires not only patience, but discipline and also an energetic space to chip away at something that has been an invisible yet powerful supporting energy of how the story of so many of my lifetimes has been written. I don’t know of any other humans in my sphere who have any inkling of other lifetimes. I would say all of them are completely mired in the 3rd dimension, even for all of any meditations with which any of them may profess to be engaged. This is a lonely place for me, meaning that I do not have anyone to talk with when I am attempting to work out these issues that have been surfacing throughout my current life, and especially with the upgraded consciousness that was gifted to me five years ago after the clearing of my Akashic Record. No one here even knows what the Akashic Record is, well except for Susun as she is the one who told me that it was there that I was during the voyage under the influence of Salvia. But she is Draconian, and I am not open to sharing anymore the deepest workings of my process of unfoldment with a draconian, no matter what work that have undertaken to do for humanity at large in this earthly sojourn, for I know how very personal relationships are maneuvered by them as a race. My heart chakra is no longer up for siphoning.

So, since I have awoken relatively early today, and I am feeling acutely this energy of unsafety in my home today, it would seem the time to begin. Today my Masters have asked me to be sure to not engage with the outer, via forms such as social media and the telephone. Very often I seek to engage myself with these media when I am feeling very hyper and unsettled inside, for I am avoiding being quiet and looking within. But I want to look within, and I want to be free of distraction. I promised myself that if I could find a job, and I was alleviated from the high stress of scrambling and worrying for the bill money, that I would devote some time to the writing.

I am unhappy here. I would say “of course”, but I know that that would be a sarcastic and cynical punctuation to the intensely uncomfortable situation that I am again finding myself in. Once again I am finding my Freedom under abusive threat by a negative soul, a “changeling” this time. This is my first known experience with navigating the energies with which they manipulate.  While I lament as such, I know however that I have purposefully placed myself in this situation- for one because I am told in my own clearing in 2010 that one of my Life Lesson(s) is “Confidence”, that is “confidence through responsibility”. I am taking this now to mean through the conscious responsibility of the creation of my physical life experience, obviously as contrasted with feeling victimized by the circumstances and helpless to change or transform what I experience in my world. And my second Life Lesson is “Freedom”, I was told that it is “freedom through confidence”. So one shall beget the other. I am looking at my current lifetime and I have indeed suffered many bullies and tyrants, most especially in personal relationships, not primarily so called romantic, but some very significant friendships as well. What I am looking at now is the bullying in my own home, which is pointed out to me repeatedly is not actually “my” home. And in choosing to be July born in this lifetime, with a Moon placed in the sign of Libra, as well as my soul root of being Hadarian, Home and a harmonious and beautiful home is top bill for me.

Here are the “past lifetimes”, that I have remembered, where the theme of my Home is threatened and destroyed by outside negative forces was/is a central theme, starting with what I am told and what I can remember about the invasion and destruction of Hadar:
  • We lived on Hadar as a Collective that espoused Unconditional Love. It was a way of life, not without individuation meaning that we had individuality, but the quality of all life expression was that of Unconditional Love- everyone was seen and heard and not judged. Hadar has been also described as a sort of “destination planet” for those in this Galaxy, perhaps beyond, who wanted to visit a place where Unconditional Creator source love is the way of life. I do not feel that there was any form of violence or manipulation or malice inherent in the society, there was no need for this as these are qualities that are manifestations of an individual’s disconnection from Source. As the story is often told, we saw that the experiment on Earth, that of an environment of contrast/duality, free will and high individuation of consciousness, was beginning to go awry and we as a collective wanted to assist in steering the energies back to the Intended trajectory. Because we knew that we could. Because we knew that Power and the Purity of Unconditional Love. Because through the direction of this Power, we meant no harm. So, it is true that as depicted in the modern movie Avatar, we as a collective consciousness bonded our individual energy signatures in sending a beam of love and light toward the Earth and the life forms that already existed on Her. This, as told in the legends, attracted the attention of the Draconians, who after losing the Galactic War, had seen an opportunity to be in energetic control, for the souls, in general who had embodied to Earth were less experienced, “younger” souls (meaning souls who were not yet awakening to their higher selves while in form). Now this all is so far an amalgam of all that I have read and heard so far from many different sources, the parts of the stories with which I have come into contact that ring true inside of me. And the “end” of this story is that because the Draconians would not tolerate any interference in their plans to be in control of the energies on this very new planet, they promptly engaged in a physical war on the inhabitants of Hadar. Yes, this means the picture of what has been played out in many SciFi movies of the 20th-21st century: spaceships, bombs, lasers, prisoners, rebels, escapees. It is written in My Akashic Record, as I was told in my 2010 reading, that I am one of the “handful” of Hadarians who fought the Draconians, and I escaped the mass post war enslavement that was occurring to the Hadarian people. Escapees are said the have traveled via the Alpha Centauri star system. We were received on Alpha Centauri, apparently because we were valued for our own technological achievements, perhaps because of the fact that we Hadarians were the designated Keepers of the Stargate and Time Travel wormholes throughout this Galaxy. As I stated in my piece about Alpha Centauri, I stayed with them for the equivalent of 3 Earth lifetimes, as the deep devastation I felt about what had happened to my Home, to the people that I loved, my friends, my family, and to our way of life needed so much time to heal. It has never truly healed. This is the scar, the imprint that I have carried in a part of my deepest self for many thousands of years.
(PART TWO, on Saturday Septmber 23rd)

17 September 2017

2012 Leveled Up (?) !

I simply wanted to make a note that I have noticed that,  since 2012,  clients are presenting with a higher octave, when I read of their "soul vibration number". Ten years ago in 2007, when the Soul Realignment course materials that I have were created (I got certified in 2010), a soul would most likely be seeking this work once they reached 5.0 (5th Dimension) on the scale. All of the client work that I've managed to do, at least since 2014, they are now presenting with 6.0.

       Of special note, I recently worked with someone, doing a healing-services-exchange.  It was  curious that she, being Polarian, presented with a 5.0! Previously, Polarians, being very earthy, "practical" souls, would present somewhere in the 4.0-4.7 range. This particular Polarian, however is also very spiritual-seeker oriented, so, which she says really got ignited for her at the Harmonic convergence of 1987.
It may not look like it from the outside, with all of the wild and transformative energies that are sweeping about our current, chosen planetary home- but it looks to me like the pivotal energetic opportunities that were presented to us in 2012 are really working!  I think we've Leveled Up!

15 September 2017

Bless, Digest and Love that Body

      I took a trip to the ER early in the summer. This was just before the HMO kicked in, so I couldn't go to my GP. I counted it as part of my commitment to experiencing new things, since I was uncomfortable going there. I'd never had a sonogram, since I had a minimally technologically invasive pregnancy with. They gave me one there. It was fascinating.
       The attendant nurse, at first had been greatly annoyed, and scolded me (!), for being in the ER because my GP didn't take straight Medicaid, and the relative minority of my issue. The pain in my solar plexus was a 7+, and recurring and I had been opting to deal with on my own since we lost our medical insurance ten months ago. I felt like it was time to have myself looked at and into during one of these episodes. And I am scolded for it!
       When he came back in to attend to more of my test charting I said, "Hey. Let's just talk like human beings."
       He was still rushing about, and breezing over me.  
       "I'm so sorry I had to come here," I whispered. 
       {retrospect perspective} I sometimes have that whole I should be healing and doing my own health care always, no exceptions thing that healer type folks sometimes have. The other trigger in here was someone being angry with me for taking care of my body self. 
       Fuck. Why was this stranger so pissed at me? I started to feel emotional, like choked up.
       I go again, feeling compelled to explain and/or justify myself, "I've been dealing with this on and off for months, now and I don't want to ignore it in case it's something important."
       I was really upset. I swear, a tear flushed down my cheek. I felt terrible.
       He turns in a bit of a flourish to face me.
       "Oh, no," he said with that 'awwww' tone. "Don't feel bad. I'm sorry!" 
       "I mean, I know where you're coming from. I know it's busy here," I offered.
       "And we're dealing with short staff," he added. 
       He placed his hand on my right shoulder, "Don't worry. We'll take good care of you."
       "I so appreciate the help with this," I said. "Thank you."
       He nodded and he was off. 
       But here's what I was getting to by telling the story of how the nurse and I softened to one another, because it set the stage for this Inspiration that I had, as I lie there receiving wonderfully refreshing intravenous hydration. And the moment that I shared it with him.
       So, I had been thinking of what an old acquaintance had said to the group in what I can only remember as a blurry din of conversations punched with laughter, smoke and a lot of laying around. "Did you know, when the sperm fertilizes the egg, the first thing that forms is one long tube?" That one line, the only bit of that night that jumped out at me and has stayed with me since. She was talking about the digestive tract, which goes in one long stretch from the mouth to the perineum. Giving a  quick read over some medical textbook type information does not prove the trueness of this declaration.  

However, it did get me thinking that every organ
and body system's function
is dependent on
the loving attention to the sacredness of alimentation.  
The Sacredness of Alimentation.
Doesn't that sound wonderful?
       It's so amplified for me lately, how much people fight with their bodies, like it's some kind of enemy that must be conquered. I have also been that way, so I know. But something begins to happen when you make a commitment to love yourself, no matter what.
       Less than a year ago, everything changed about the way that I eat, what foods I want and when. All of a sudden I manifested a natural aversion to almost all of my favorite foods.  It was not that I didn't want them, mentally, but when I put them on my tongue, my body screamed "Nooooooo!" That means most dairy items (cheese, butter and milk), bacon, bread, pasta, beer, beans, pizza (!!waahh, say it isn't so!!), and other things left my palate. Other foods came in. I can't even stand the smell of pizza, anymore. So sad. Or is it?
       Last summer I got a scholarship from the Omega Institute to do the week long 'Trance Mediumship' intensive with Tony Stockwell. I love channeling! I also enjoy incorporating as well. I want to do more of it. Much more. It feels awesome, there is a euphoria joy and a feeling of being completely safe in the Oneness. "It's weird", like people say. In that pinnacle year of 2014, I devoured a book by Sanaya Roman, called Opening to Channel, which many people learned about from the movie, Spirit Channelers in America. (scroll down the right side bar of this blog for a thumbnail player of this movie)  I read of her guide asking her to condition her body to be a better container for the higher vibrational energies that his fuller presence would bring. After the mediumship week, and the wonderful, ability affirming partner exercises that I experienced there, I was feeling some of that.
          "I want my body to be a stronger,
           more appropriate container for higher Light"
           was my general intention/declaration. 
       With some modifications to my I AM statements, things began to change... I did not notice at first. Like the foods I ate, and then my body herself. It was a pretty swift transformation, relatively. I think my digestive system was a bit shocked by this. I had to pull back from autopilot and pay attention. Many of my favorite foods, so I found out when I put them in my mouth, would feel so revulsive that I would need to wash my tongue off after I spit it out! Macaroni, potatoes, others. Those foods I don't eat anymore. Or, sometimes frequent consumption of certain foods that I used to eat, that still feel fine to eat, make me feel as if I had an extra layer of density all around my body. Then, I get uncomfortable in my flesh and have to stop, do a cleanse, some TaeBo. That density is uncomfortable. I am transforming and having to completely relearn myself, because the Self has changed. I am listening deeply and partnering with my body in preparing her for my Soul's seat herself here.
       The human body is comprised of millions of tiny living individualized intelligences. It makes sense to be kind to them. Your body is your partner in your soul's journey on Earth. Without it you would not be here, reading this or having this experience. We tune into and listen to those that we have chosen to partner with, don't we? At least in a healthy relationship. So, I've heard. 😏
  I'm getting to it. Life spirals around in little concentric circles. Every topic is a roundabout.
So, I'm laying in this bed in the ER, thinking and feeling about all of this, since of my difficulties have been in the general digestive system category. And I'm feeling into how every single microscopic living organism of the human body is completely dependent upon the proper intake and assimilation of nutrients. The heart, and all of the cells that comprise the heart. That's when the nurse came back in.
       Now, after all of that tension, and then being able to reach the true being inside the other, the connection in that moment as I shared this revelation to him was the stuff I 'keep on keeping' for.
       I repeated my old acquaintance's question, prefaced with, "Is it true that..."
       "Oh my god, you're taking me way back. I don't know."
       I repeated my hospital-bed-sitting-with-my-condition-Insight. He just kind of stopped. Every thing depends on the digestive system. Everything. He never really thought about it, he said.
       There was a moment that seemed kind of long, just of paused activity and silence.
       He paused before he left my cubicle this last time, seeming to be caught in some thought.
       As was I.

September 20th, I am going in for my Endoscopy, provided I've found an escort to the appointment by then. Let's find out what's going on in this Mind-Body.