21 February 2018

my feeling, the reason why the bible says 'no tattoos'

Nam Myōhō Renge Kyō
Memory: I'm about 23. It's my last stand in the city, in other words my life is due to come crumbling down but I don't know it yet. I'm living on Avenue B between, was it between 11th and 12th? I remember walking about 2 blocks to get the 9th St. crosstown bus which I got at Ave B on the north side of Tompkins Sq. Park. That's only if I had time to squander. 
       Mostly I walked home after my shift at the Potbelly. Sometimes I had to take a cab home, though. One night the driver taught me that mantra, and said "Don't get any more tattoos." 
right shoulder blade, age 19
I may have just gotten the one on my belly. I at least had the Anima Mundi already. The was one on the horizon in a few years, for my lower back, the Hunab Ku. {And I wouldn't know what the Hunab Ku meant, eh-hem, until just a few years ago!}
       It says that in the Bible, not to mark the body up and hold it as sacred. I haven't looked it up on the internet or in any of my Bibles here at home. I'm going by memory from Catholic school and catechism. My intuitive hit the other day about why the Bible says that about tattoos and what inspired this post: you become infused/effused with the energies that are associated with the picture/symbol. This may or may or not be desirable in the long term. Of course, back in the day, there were no sort of removal methods available once someone got inked. You definitely died with that shit. So you know this sort of imbibing one's vessel with some sort of quality, as represented by the picture/symbol so inked, is some pretty heavy magic
       It can be. It's a ritual, for sure. And it's got to be right, the whole process, I'm saying. Anyone who has a tattoo knows this. The choosing of the image and the place on the body, choosing the artist, everything. It's a branding. 
       Although what feels right in one moment, when tattooing is done impulsively, may bring misery not too long after. Then a 'cover-up' is attempted. That original image and energy is always underneath, never really dissolved per se. Perhaps.
       I suppose an intentional ritual of transmutation of old energy could be enacted as one received the cover-up image and accompanying energetics. Maybe some people do this. I've never had a cover-up done so I can't attest to it. 
       But I never tire for some reason of this cab story of learning this mantra, and all the spin offs I get each time I think of it. 
And that driver...
Nam Myōhō Renge Kyō

19 February 2018

'earthly relationships' riff

from January 29, 2018
What I mean is that what I witness as what humans tend to call relationships are very rooted in the power and control draconian/3D paradigm. I gave birth to you, I took care of you, I was there for you when blah-blah happened... so you owe me, indefinitely, even if you outgrow our association, and even if I have too. I am going to hold you to this agreement* that we are in called a relationship, because I have built this part of my identity and my life because of my relationship with and to you, so you can't disassociate from this relationship because then what will happen to those parts of me? And don't even act like that this isn't how it is. I mean the lazy way, the go-to when we forget our training, all these books and workshops and seminars that we attend to help us become more enlightened beings. The way most of us were raised. I'm only talking about things-of-which-I've-experienced, here. 
       *Sometimes, more often than you could imagine, these relationship agreements are binding at the soul-level, through a past life or present life vow/agreement that stuck to the Akashic Record. Often, a being of light soul is in an agreement with a draconian or changeling soul! Then, there's some work-work to do. Once someone has a Soul Realignment™ done for them, these sort of demanding, controlling, dramatic relations tend to work themselves out of the picture. Not completely, because let's not get too bored, shall we?
       An aside, sort of: Not to say that this isn't changing, because the younger humans, the advanced souls who are jumping on the ride, are not for power and control. um, as if any of you who have been parents in the past 20 years and some haven't noticed! OK, maybe the past 50! But it's become more refined along the lines of charging toward autonomy and freedom. It's not a bad thing. 

27 January 2018

the Devouring Mother, and letting go of earthly relationship associations {part one}

you get the idea
We become the devouring mother, when we give in to our own fears about life. When we project them onto our offspring and cover our story with, "it's for your own good", or "I'm just trying to protect you." 


Consumptive. Soul Crushing. The devourer of the seed. Susun told me about the devouring mother back then. I'm not sure if I had even become a mother myself at that time. I do know that I was being told a piece of information that I would need to imbibe for later use, because I had an inexplainable chill run the length of my body. "Do not become a devouring mother" is what I told myself. I have recalled this mantra whenever I realize that I am being a "smother". My son, in his fresh-mouthed-bad-assness is very comfortable with reminding me- 'you need to fall back. I can handle my own business now.' And even though I worry- I can't put that in his direction. I have to proceed at this point exactly as I do for myself- with faith and complete trust. I put the time and attention in, like a thousand fold, when he was growing up- all the way until now, 16. A Man's got to be a man. A Woman has to be a woman for all that matter (If I had a daughter, that's what I would say.)
     What makes me think of this? Well, it's sort of tied into a situation about which I felt so compassionate, I wanted to offer my help. I really should have learned by now that I am to no longer "offer" this service to anyone. The person has to be inspired and sparked with the desire for transformation on such a deep level that the only thing that there is to do is to surrender to it. I mean, the clients that I attract are the ones who have such deep issues affecting their soul record, I would've been freaking out if they were my first ever client. Now, these are the cases that I crave. They're "meaty", more interesting. I am challenged multidimensionally, and I learn more.
       There are obstacles that I have to overcome, which are insurmountable, when I am offering a soul clearing to someone who is the adult "child" of someone, and I have offered and conducted the work via communication with the mother. It doesn't work if the mother's own story of personal tragedy and self-neglect are firmly rooted in and dependent upon the problems of the offspring. What would happen, then if suddenly the child were cured, completely, in a wave of the wand (it can seem like this, especially when one has been cleared of long standing soul shifting and other similar issues)? Who do we blame, then for all of our own self-created misery if the scapegoat is suddenly... Well, cured....?
       I'm not into Katie Byron's work, specifically, but her one line, "Who would you be without your story?" I've been asking myself that question lately, specifically in relation to career and finances and being a single parent. Letting all that go- it's a practice, a self-loving discipline.
1/25  I am watching and listening to Pam Gregory's January 2018 New Moon report. She touches on a lot of these themes: freedom, who are you at soul level, when all else is gone... and more. Check it out. It may be "last week", but still relevant, thank you.
Also, I adore this Mooji meditation. Remain as You Are I've shared it on my Facebook page that goes with this blog, and it's on my Meditations playlist on You Tube. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL947DD96B0C9AE71A I really connect when he says that [paraphrasing]: "truly you have no children, or parents..." A wonderful meditation for remembering your true nature, sovereign and free. It's my go to sometimes when I blow into my apartment after a day of taking care of bizness, 
and I need to recenter and connect with my higher Truth. Plus, I like Mooji's voice. :)


(be back soon on this topic...)

XoXo- Ursula Carrie