[vlog] Recent Fatigue. Curses. Guides on "Smoke Break". Mystery Solved. {Self-Reading/Clearing in My Akash 8.18.18}

You've probably been hearing about it, all over- about the intense, angry, transformative energies permeating the mass consciousness of Earth this summer. All summer!  Every type of astrologer and reader of many sorts have been writing about this since Mars was setting up to go retrograde, back in May. Well, the Mars retrograde period from whose shadow we are just now emerging, the 2 solar eclipses (July 11th and August 11th) and the powerful lunar eclipse (July 27th), now at this writing, the Pisces Full Moon... Oh, did it feel like trying to swim through sticky gooey syrup, this syrup being all of the restrictive energies, astrologically speaking. 
I've said before that I am no astrologer. I've never even had a paid astrology reading that felt worth the money, since I didn't understand a damn thing even after 2 hours of the reader explaining away aspects and squares and trines, etc... BUT, I do tune into some You Tube astrologers with whom I find resonance. What these certain spiritually attuned astrologers have to offer on the macro to the microcosm of world and personal events, from their perspective- makes a lot of sense to me, because I feel and can validate the effects in my own world. After all, we do dwell in an energetic universe, energy that we all can feel even if no words or definition are ascribed to the feeling.  
So, that said, I like many of you have been "going through it" this summer. Energy upgrades, downloads of information (from the I AM, one's Angels, Guides, even from the Divine Intelligences of the Earth).   Ascension to Higher Consciousness, Integrating higher energies, and for many of my clients- releasing negative entities, while enhoused in a (largely) 3rd Dimensional physical format is physically exhausting.
Fortunately, by doing the process for myself that I do for my clients- checking my Soul Record (!) - I was able to get to the bottom of my own personal Retrograde/Eclipse season fatigue and my temporary inability to feel the Presence of My Team (Guides, Angels, Archangel Masters, Ascended Masters).

May the Autumn serve up Sweet, Cool and Refreshing, 

Succulent Fruits from the Fires of Summer's Transformation.

Love,

Ursula Carrie

Full Moon Speaking from My Heart [vlog] 8.26.2018- "Hidden" Agenda (?), Flying Squirrels!

'fooling around with the fortune cookie the other night [8.24.18] and this was the first one!
Now, read my Facebook post from the day before, and you'll see why this Fortune Cookie made me roll my eyes and laugh.
http://www.astrologyland.com/oracles/FortuneCookie.aspx

So, What happens when you don't move your ass, yourself? The Universe will move you! And then, fighting the transformation will only bring suffering. Surrender, once again is the only option once it's gone that far... 

And, of course, with everything else- introduce a baby Flying Squirrel into the mix this morning because, 

ya' know, like someone 

once said to me, "The Universe likes to have fun with you." Yep. 

But I'm playing right along... 

LMFAO.

August 25, 2018. I asked where I am right now, in this journey, what did I need.
The Strength card came up. I said, "Strength for what?" And then came the other 2 cards.
I find it interesting that the three cards
came out of a VERY well shuffled deck- in their numerical order: XI, XII, XIII
This shows me that the transformation that I am engaged in,
even though (of course) the various twists and turns of the path are not all in view,
all is happening in Perfect Divine Order.

*Night Sounds* at My Living Room Window

A moment for some of the sweet stuff (video/audio below:)

sitting on the love seat near the big picture window in the living room,
enjoying the night lights

💖 I like the lights in the living room at night. I don't sit out there often, but the symphony this night was

impossible to resist. There is a pond across the meadow 

on my neighbor's property, so all of the 

night singers were out in their finest. 

A hot August night after many, many days of rain. 💖

Splendid!

Blessed.

May the direct motions of Mercury, 

and Mars following the Full Moon Sunday 8.26, 

find you all feeling some relief of the intense energies of this summer. 

Get that lid off the pot already! Whew! 😂

Thank you for Being Here.

Love, 

💋 Ursula Carrie

💖 20 Years a Priest 💖 August 15, 2018

This Wednesday, August 15, 2018, I am 20 Years a Priest in the Order of Melchidezek. I wanted to renew my Vows at Rev. Dan's farm in Consensus, NY this Sunday, August 19th- but I have no money and my car has too many issues to take us that far. I feel sad about that. My life as a Priest is, well, who I am. These past 20 years have been "quite something" to keep it brief. I feel like I wanted to be with Rev. Dan again and renew my commitment. I'm just so tired and distressed lately, I can't even imagine how I could get the Universe to pull this one out for me at the last minute..... I am probably going to have to be flexible and find something to do with myself on Wednesday.
Love, again-
Ursula Carrie

Pause for the Cause

this was the last day of the very intense workshop I was in
July 23-27. I was processing so much, on so many levels, I
just couldn't even stand up anymore, or pursue any more aspects
of learning the craft. This summer has been frickkin' *heavy*.
Geez. 

I'm writing this note to say that I need to get with my current energetic circumstances right now and admit that I need to take a pause for the cause- which is admitting that I have a shit-ton of unacknowledged Grief in my systems. And that I have been not addressing this in my quest to be constantly and consistently strong and unfettered by events in my life over the past year. I should've allowed myself to be brought to my knees, fully, as I experienced each blow, but as stubborn as I am, I couldn't allow that. 
But eventually, one has to come clean to herself, and admit that the weight is too much and something(s) must be done. For one, I wound up sleeping, like almost all weekend. Now, my Ayurvedic constitution is all almost completely Vata, so I hardly ever sit down, and I'm always busy with some task, job or in pursuit of some creative idea. I've been surprising myself lately at how much I have to lay down- but this weekend in particular I reclaimed my self-created title as the Sleep Olympics Champion, better be 1st place!
All this is to say where I'm at and to thank each and every person who looks at this blog and has liked my Facebook page for this service. I have been through energy upgrades and transitions like this before. "Ease" never seems to be a component. Something amazing is brewing, my son keeps reminding me. 
 With Love and Appreciation,
       Ursula Carrie

Ursula Carrie- quick Jewelweed tutorial- August 5, 2018

Some on-the-fly video from this afternoon. I was just headed outside to finally succumb to making my jewelweed tea, so I can get rid of this poison ivy. I was good about not scratching when i'm awake, but I see I've been scratching in my sleep- and it spread! Oops!

It's been about 20 years since I've had poison ivy, so... Just another experiment with, 

"So... just what does this thing (poison ivy) "do", and how long does it last for, 

on its own and untreated...?" 

Well, ok. I'm done with waiting on how long it can last on its own!

 Like my Gramie would've said shaking her head with a smile, 

"What an Ursula..." Then, she would hug and kiss me. Lol.

'Thought I'd take you all with me, in case you wanted to check it out. :)  

um, here's the requisite disclaimer:

FDA Disclaimer: These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or condition.

and thanks for Being Here

~Ursula Carrie

The End of "Mudrurmayo" *

Dear Friends,

MuMu went Home this morning, probably just after I closed the door and went to work. My son called me at 12:30 pm to let me know.

I had to stop by Family before I went home, after I bought the gauze to wrap our Mu's body for burial. I knew I could find someone in there who would hug me. I needed a hug so bad, and I can't think of anyone who I could call to ask for one, so... Brian was there, thank goodness, and hugged me and let me cry in his arms. I'm thankful for that, so I could get some of it out and come home and be a force of stability for my son, so he has space to fall apart. Grieving, I dug the grave to prepare... It's raining, an element that brings comfort to both of us. I'm thankful for that, too.
Whenever my boy is ready, whenever HE is ready, we shall lovingly wrap our Mu and inter him, right next to the Mama that he missed so bad, he had to leave us and go be with her.
BOTH of our cats lived for exactly 18 years and 5 months- BOTH of Them. How is that, that they both lived the exact amount of time. Whenever we move from this apartment, we will dig up their bones and take them with us, wherever we go after this. 8 not very happy years in this apartment, thanks to the bullying and nastiness from the changeling that lives downstairs. Some people just hate themselves and all happy people. Even still, we persevere. God has a plan for us. Neither of us know where this is all heading, though.

I have been advised by my Family of Light to work through my grief by helping the clients whose files are on my worktable. I am prepared to isolate myself from social interactions and bury myself in work. Let this work be my earthly salvation. Let it heal all Grief, in all worlds, in all dimensions. Then, I too shall, someday, go Home. I am very much aware of this fact.

And may the years that remain, may they be the best yet and may it all be in Joy.

Thank you for Being Here.

Love,

Ursula Carrie

* "Mudrurmayo" (moo-dur-my-o) Our name for our little family unit.

mu=MuMu

dr=Dreamy

ur=Ursula

mayo=Chimayo

August 2017 Solar Eclipse, final blow (I hope)

MuMu on the left, and his Mama, Dreamy
He's just missed her, so much.
Her death left a huge hole in our family life.

Our MuMu is dying. 

He is very close, now. He will survive his mama, Dreamy by just a hair over 8 months. MuMu fell into a deep, inconsolable depression when his mama died on November 28, 2017. 
The loss of my job and immediately after that- Dreamy's death, 18 years my Familiar and spiritual companion. Just some of the loss and death we have experienced. 
We really believed that MuMu would pull through it. But he spent the past 8 months, meowing almost constantly, searching the apartment and outside. 
It has been so grief inducing, for me and my son. 

My son... MuMu was in the room when I gave birth to my son, and he has been a force of Love and Comfort for my son throughout his entire life. Now, just weeks from 17, my boy is about to lose his boy. I can't stop crying. 

This MuMu saved me, comforted me, when I started to refuse to go to bed at night with my son's father, all those years ago when I began to pull away from the abuse and was trying to save myself and my son. I would lie down on the futon in our old apartment with MuMu, and hold him all night, while my son's father yelled obscenities at me from the bedroom, and I prayed that he wouldn't come out and try to hurt me.

April 12, 2018
My boy, with his boy

It has always been just us- a mom and a son, and a mom-cat and son-cat. We were everything to each other. And now it's all changing. Through bouts of grief, my son said to me, "I fully acknowledge that this signifies the end of my childhood." He said that he sees this as one chapter of his life coming to a close and the next one beginning. I agree, my chapter here is ending as well- but I do not want to acknowledge it, or accept it. I'm just going to cry until I can't breathe, mourn the loss of everything that has been dear and precious to me, in all of these years that I have loved, so much, with my son and our cats and our little Family.

Probably something beautiful is on the way for us, but I don't give a shit right now. I don't care about the weather, I don't care about anything except Grief. We're going to cry our way though it, all of it, unto the grave digging, body preparation and burial. We both know we are standing on the threshold of some big change. I pray that the changes are gentle and subtle and comfortable, for both myself and my son. We've been through a lot. I have to cry, now... and keep praying. 
Love and Comfort in these times of transition.