18 July 2017

Thank You for the Birthday Well Wishes (post on my personal Facebook wall this afternoon)

Dear Beloveds,
Soo, I am going to set myself down sometime soon and tune into all of the wonderful well wishes that have landed onto this Facebook wall. And, as is my custom, I will tune into the Energies of each individual whose post I am reading, and I will write the Thank You that is channeled for each individual. (no "blanket" thanking for me!)
Yesterday, what I decided that I wanted to do was- whatever the quiet voice inside said to do, in each and every minute as it occurred (to the best of my current ability). I needed to reacquaint myself with this way of being, because I have been caught in a tornado of the "should-do's" and "have-to's" for so much longer than is comfortable for me. The "shoulds" and "have-to's", dancing with conformity, have been killing Me, and I have lost touch with the core of who I am, with what makes my Heart sing. I am beginning my own Recovery. I pray for the courage and self-love enough to effectively do so, even if it once again means that I find myself standing alone.
There will be consequences, my Guides have told me, physically, if I do not. It is time to get to the real work. I need to be focused. I appreciate the Boundless Love that I share with my Sisters in Spirit, who are stationed at their own Points of Light around this planet, who are also on this Journey.
Love and Breath and the Soothing of Hearts,
Ursula Carrie

12 July 2017

Starting to take stock. Birthday week.

IN my notes, I see that I did so much good writing and channeling in 2014- the year of total and absolute financial distress, fear and disastrous uncertainty.
But I had a lot of free time, and I slept and woke absolutely to my own physiological schedule. Eventually, willingly surrendering everything else (material, conceptual) that hadn't been stripped away from me by an outside source, the last thing I had to do was surrender my self. And then it all began to flow, the writing, the ideas, the art. I felt so connected to and in communication with my guides and ascended masters. Unfortunately for me at the time, I was constantly effused with the terror and fear that our life was falling apart. These fears were also constantly reinforced by the people who were in my life, then. I therefore did not allow myself to be fully appreciative of all of that writing and the time that I had to do so. (Well, I can appreciate what I wrote then, now.)
So, at the end of that year, I found "the job that saved us" (me and my son) and I began a whole new period and process of transformation.
It has been a packed 3 years of transmuting my past experiences, concepts of self, even my entire physical body from that is/was old and no longer serves the path to new forms more in resonance with my constant realigning with my higher self. But, I hadn't felt like writing, or even reading anything. Even the botanical jewelry that I love to do has fallen to the wayside.
One thing I have learned about myself and my needs: I need long stretches of time where I am undisturbed. I have noticed that as long as I am not preoccupied with all of those "have to dos"  or thoughts of what I "should do", which is nearly always someone else's voice, then that quiet voice of my own heart/inner direction has a space in which to emerge and be heard. This is the space in which the writing, channeling and artwork comes through. I miss this space.
Because, honestly, in this current evolution of my physical life, I have had a very challenging time even being able to locate where the sound of that voice was coming from when I heard it. 
The synchronicities are so subtle, they have become nearly normal.
I am reminded of an Abraham-Hicks clip in which Abraham, channeled by Esther hicks, says that, if you arrive in a space where nothing feels good, you've waited too long (to follow the feelings of guidance).
I've been in this space for so long, where everything that I try to do, or continue to do just loses it's luster. I have tried every which way to use every tool and technique that I have amassed into my spiritual-growth tool kit to change how I feel about my current manifested reality. And there are those little everyday experiences that tell me that 'I still got it', connection with spirit. But even with a clean soul record, thanks to regular check ups and maintenance, there is still something amiss. I just don't know what I 'love' anymore. Midlife? Menopause? Ascension? All of it and more, I suspect! 
That may give a chuckle to some of you out there. Oh, that time on the journey when you feel like you've hit the glass ceiling. Because you have. Because your Soul has been calling you to transform, to push beyond the comfortable supports that have tightened to restraints. The tightrope I walk balancing being 'cool with what is' and the drive to just change... everything! 
Really it's about wanting that next big *wow* moment of yet another breakthrough to the other side. I had it last year at the mediumship week. Then everything seemed to be quickly absorbed into the mundanity of survival.
The 'trough' time. The swells and the waves that we ride high. Then the wave crashes and there is stillness.
I mean, hey, I do it too- wrestling with myself, because I am getting caught up in seeking the gratification of satisfactory external experiences, so that I can feel that I am still creating a pleasant reality, that I am not failing at my mission, that I am 'moving forward'.
I am taking this time that happens to be the week before my birthday, while on staycation from the job, to goad myself back into this- allowing myself to be still.
If all the bills are paid and there's some food to eat (and I am so Appreciative of this fact), I remind myself, "Let the rest just be. It won't fall apart, and if it did you know it'll always be all right." I actually promised this to myself back when I got the job, that as soon as I was able to achieve some stability (like, the electric wasn't getting cut off every month), I would focus on my personal priorities. I have let the fulfillment of this self-promise to get away from me. Thank goodness that I've now remembered.

11 July 2017

November 7, 2014 1:30am

(under the picture of the light body is a recently discovered
unpublished post of mine drafted on December 12, 2014.
I had forgotten all about it. I am amazed at what is written.
My own voice reaching through to me from the past to remind me..... )
Letting go of Things.
This is what my Soul teaches-
I AM That I AM.
Ego fights Stillness.
Wrestle my self to the Ground.
I emerge as God.
All of my lifetimes
I have been many people
Merging into One.

04 June 2017

This Is where my I Am practice began. I Am Thankful, and Full 💓

2013. I am receiving an arsenal of intuitive (channelings, dreams, signs, etc.) and physical tools (books, video links, online webinars, etc.), through various sources and synchronicities, that all illuminate the discipline of manifestation, self-mastery, self-discipline and surrender. I am devouring them all. It is a good thing. I will need these skills soon. We did not know it, yet. This too is a good thing, like this video.
A seemingly simple hour talk. It is not.
In this 2013 talk at the Wanderlust Speakeasy, I first learned of the I Am Discourses. Impassioned, I found a free Pdf online http://www.bahaistudies.net/asma/iam.pdf,
and began the journey of developing an I Am practice. As I have grown and evolved, and my goals and needs do change, so does my practice.
[2017 side note: I have returned to this video many times since, most recently on this past Saturday when I came home from the work day. I live on (thankfully) the outskirt of a very tiny, but very congested in the tourist season, town. And after waiting forever to be able to pull out of the parking lot, etc, etc., blah, blah, blah,  by the time I got into the apartment to lie down on the floor and decompress, I could "hear" Wayne Dyer's voice. He wasn't saying anything in particular, it was just the tone of his speaking voice that rose up from my memories. It made me feel soothed. Then, I had an image float into my mind of the beautiful billowing white cloth and the stage. "Go-To", here I come! Not only was I soothed and again inspired by this talk, but I got uplifted back into that place of Knowing What Is. I had to share it with you.]
       Earlier that year, I stumbled upon The Master Key System, by Charles F. Haanel (pub. 1916). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Master_Key_System  Now, at this sitting, if I could tell you where or how I did (as in what teacher, talk, random synchronicity or seminar), I would.  If I remember, I'll let you know 😉  However, I know that I had a copy from the library, and, after a few pages, I knew that I had to be underlining as I read. I wrote "Feb. 6, 2013" up in the corner of the page facing the cover, which would be the day that I picked up the order at the bookstore.
       These texts were different for me than what I had been learning through the Abraham material, which spoke more to me of sifting through the earth-plane- navigating-tool of Emotion. The only way I can describe it is 'the square root' of programming, of retraining the subconscious mind. I Am is self-hypnosis to the Nth degree. It is a prayer, a meditation, a self-actualizing practice. What a beautiful, life saving gift to be given, to Remember the I Am.
       Just looking back at this moment of writing and remembering all of this, I am amazed at all that has happened since only four years ago. It feels like a lifetime has passed, but not enough time to make me forget- yet. I Am so Thankful for this teaching, to all who presented, produced, and the beautiful vibration  of the crowd. I am so appreciative of the way that Wayne dyer so profusely shared resources and personal experiences that related to the teachings he talked about as he lived them.
And Bless all of you who feel
** Inspired ** by it also
to begin your own *I Am practice*.
And thank you for reading this.
Ursula Carrie

01 June 2017

L.O.A. Family

Just a quickie. Here's how it sounds when you've unschooled your kid and raised him with a soundtrack of Abraham-Hicks, the Akashic Records, Wayne Dyer, etc...
       ME, This morning, just now:
I'm feeling overwhelmed, again, by all of the priorities that are fighting for my attention. I am starting to get swirled up in the stormy part of this tornado and I am not liking it. I am starting to feel irritated, and the cat bitching for more food, even though he was just fed 30 minutes ago, is not lifting my mood. Add to this that Menopause has brought me a new delight: I am bleeding again, a full period to boot, even though I just finished a cycle 2 weeks ago. I'm exhausted. I can't even seem to find my heart to let it direct me. I got up too early and had a short fruitless effort to get back to sleep.
I'm about to trip-out. Then come the thoughts about going to the j.o.b. tomorrow. Now, I'm really stressed out. Now I really feel like time is running out.

       Enter into the kitchen, "the Teenager", with a one-liner:
"Stop focusing on, like, the two things that aren't good- everything else is awesome."

Then, he gave me a hug and a peck on my forehead.
WOW! This kid! I really got a good one!
It's SO true, I was getting caught up and misdirecting
the power of my attention.
'Focus' immediately redirected.

31 May 2017

I have some "funny" stories on manifesting... ONE: "The Burlington Trip"

       So... I had these brochures, five years ago. They were for what I remember calling "the Burlington aquarium" and Ausable Chasm. I had them, with some others, pinned up on the poster sized, framed cork board in the living room. These two were bull-clipped together, though. I called it, "The Burlington Trip". I had this vision of taking my kid on an epic adventure road trip, paralleling our own state on a journey up, well to Burlington! Not for any purpose, really, except just because. Oh, but here was the thing that linked these two things, primarily geographically, which I had thought would make a fun loop of it all- the brochure for the Ferry was clipped to the Burlington two. We would park the car on the boat and enjoy the ferry across from Vermont, to Ausable. There we would camp and hike and explore and have a fire pit.  It would be a trip to remember.

But back then, Carla was still alive. Then she died. Things changed. Life changed. All of those little, old dreams seemed like they just weren't meant to happen. (You can just go back and read about any of those years.) Time passed.
       So, a couple of years ago, I looked over the old cork board, which by now is hung on the hallway facing side of my bedroom door. There were various notes-to-self on scraps of clean paper, dated and pinned overlapping all over the board, the travel board, sort of. And I unpinned every single brochure, tore them up into un-re-tape-able sized pieces and recycled them. "Fuck it." I said.
       Well, of course that's what I said, because that is what I say when I am officially letting something fly back out into the wind. Things get blocked from my path for various reasons. Just because I know that doesn't mean that I am always in the know as to why something that I think that I really, really want right now is not coming into my experience, right then. When I let go of this trip that I wanted to do so bad, I just figured it just simply wasn't meant to be in my experience. And I decided that I didn't care anymore, a big part for me of letting it fly. I forgot all about it...
       February 2017 The Omega Institute catalogue is here. I already had a scholarship to go there last year for the Trance mediumship training week, so I know I can't get a scholarship again to go this year. I love to sift through catalogues,though. I wonder if something's there anyway for me there this year, so I look. I see a workshop being offered by someone whose name I have been seeing. New Realities had him on a ways back. I haven't watched any videos, though. I work every Saturday, so I have to be selective on how many times in a year I will able to get someone to cover. (The workshop game is primarily geared to the 9  to 5 set.) Something says in my left ear, "See if he's teaching somewhere else."
      So, I Google him and go to his website. He's teaching on a Sunday! And near enough to drive there and back in a day if I had to. Oh wait! There's an "early bird" price. I want the early bird! I wonder if they take money orders....
       I send an email. I get a response. Sure, why not? They'll take a money order. I got the early bird price. In May, I book the hotel, which is next door to the workshop venue and across the street from the ferry. Oh, and I book the cabin at Ausable.
       Oh, didn't I mention?
The workshop is in Burlington!
      😏  Now isn't that something?

20 May 2017

Thank You to Bobbi

I am freshly home and feeling our conversation this hour at Family. I am appreciating all of the avenues and streets and alleyways that we travelled on- and then the superhighway when the micro got related to the macro!
Here is a picture of your pond :) The Beloved Pond
And I want to first, which was the 'zap' that led me to just writing it all in a post, say to you, "Thank you" for the space and the dialogue to attempt to reason out the tiny and broader possible implications and meanings of this current challenging situation in that one area of my life.
As I sat down here just now at home and I am feeling appreciation for our exchange, the energy felt like:
a flat mahogany colored rectangular (and large weave, with scalloped edges at the top) basket that would fit  in the cradle between my bicep and the palms of my hands. The hands are outstretched at heart level, as if perhaps the basket is being held out to receive and/or to give something of abundance.
That is what the dialoguing felt like if one could see the feeling. Lately energy perception is sometimes accompanied by a "picture" as well. I
 tell the picture just in case the other person is also visual and can see it as well :)
So, thanks for this impromptu 'session', because I was able to come home with fresh detachment and perspective about my life. I really did kind of hang about hoping to talk with you. Oh, yes, indeed I did! And thank you for asking me to wait when I said that I shouldn't take up your time because I should be able to reason this out alone, since I should have all the tools to do so. [Some of those reading this know what that's about!]
       And now at home I also have the physical space and the space of some hours from the harshness of that entanglement as well. In this space, I find myself able to reconnect with and remembering how to realign with my highest priorities. Like this blog. Like helping the humans who want to get on a new page of the book of their life. And other stuff, you know.
       May all of the Masters and Angels and Guides [Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.] assist me in staying in alignment with my Soul's Mission and with my own Precious Heart.
       Hmmm... the basket. Reminds me of grain, nourishment... Ahhhh, yes. Good.
So good. Thanks Bobbi.
'Till we meet again.

14 April 2017

Thought of the Need for the Embodiment of True Christ Consciousness, Now

I got inspired to write a short note because all that I have heard that is currently going on in the world. I thought of Christ Consciousness not just because of the multi-faith celebrations this week, but how at this time on Earth, the embodiment of the real meaning of this is in great need, not only for the humans but for everything that is on this planet.
In the past I found this AMSR track to be to my liking, using headphones, when I needed to focus on something creative. It just felt really good and kind of hypnotic in a way after a while, which is obviously good for creative endeavors.
       If you have not yet come across this concept of "Christ Consciousness", I will briefly say according to my current understanding, it means "Consciousness of the 5th Dimension, Ascended Consciousness, Compassion". You know what the world needs now.
       So, those of us who are 'there' so to speak, it would be for the Highest Good of All for You* (*each individual one of us, making up a "we") to just Focus on Your Light-
Your Own Sacred Heart. That's all you must do right now. Tend to Your Heart. It is important to do this as the world is in a tailspin all about you. Ground. Focus. Then, you can reach out and help. You must have a reservoir to draw from. We fill our own well, then we can moisten the lips of the parched.
       We are all Beings made up of tiny particles of Energy- and these little particles (in an over simplified way to say it so not having to go and find the books where I've read it :) ) have been shown to be able to communicate with each other.
       So, when you focus on your own Loving, Divine Heart and Your Light- this Healing Presence is felt by everyone in your physical/energetic environment. If ALL of these Points of Light, embodied as Human Beings, who are spread out all over this Planet do this, the Ripple Effect would tip the scales...
       You may feel impatient for something to "happen", but it is working through deep crusty layers darkness as Earth makes this shift. We must be steadfast and believe in the Divine Love in our own Sacred heart center and stay in alignment with Divine Truth (those of you who are know what that is).
       So, I can suggests a simple way to do this, if you'd like a starting place-
   Every day, whenever it is that you wake up from your sleep, simply say, "I AM."
If you would like to put something else onto that, how about the mantra given out in one of Matt Kahn's video's, "I Am the Light, the Light I Am". Take a deep belly breath at the comma. Really feel what you're saying.
       May we all feel at ease.
Ursula Carrie

05 April 2017

Cleaning up, Clearing Out. And sometimes you just have to Sit.

I set up the page for this post about a week ago. This I remembered when I clicked and found last week's video of his Astrology for the Soul/Pele Report. I related so much to what he was saying toward the end, that I felt compelled to share the video. Because... I had set an Intention at the end of 2016 to go about doing what needed to be done to free myself up of some past financial obligations that I prefer not to take with me into the renewed life I am creating. This was not some calculated thought, rather a feeling that I was about to be moving through a space where I was to clear and cleanse further. Specifically things like- the student loan that had been hanging over me for the past 25 years and tax issues that needed resolve. There are other simple yet complicated energies of this nature (finances, insurance, etc.) that beckon attention. My Future Self is messaging me. I got the text! And when I saw Kaypacha's video last week, I thought, "Holy crap! That's exactly what I've been doing!" Apparently there are some pretty powerful astrological energies going on these days.
       There are sometimes great strides, like last month when I was whippin' right along at the accountant's office, getting it all done and feeling awesome. There have been synchronicities like yesterday morning when my acupuncturist called to reschedule because she was sick, and I wound up feeling inspired to go out and do several things that were still needed to complete some tax biz. Feeling awesome there, too, I was. Until I stopped at the post office to pick up the mail. There was a letter from my state that said my tax refund was being held until I jumped through several more hoops to prove that my child is my child and lives with me.
       So then, as is always with a great expansion, is stillness. The thing that I notice for me is that my expansions are fast and powerful which means the integration or rest cycle happens just as fast and just as deep. It can definitely feel like what is called 'depression' because just as we are on a big roll, catching up speed, gaining that momentum, the universe/energies say, "Ok, big expansion. Now Stop. Breathe. Integrate. Revaluate."  
       Today, I woke up feeling like I was in an energetic straight jacket. The first thought I had was, "Fuuuuuck!" I wanted to "do more stuff", try to "make more things happen". I want to check things off of my list! I want to get to the future!
       I kept checking in with my masters hoping for the response that I thought I wanted, and the response was the same, "Stay home." This is not always coming easily to me. I am also part of a society in which one worth is measured by how much or what one "does". A large part of me knows much better than this obviously "flawed premise", (Abraham) but that does not mean that I don't succumb.
       So, I gave up. I didn't 'give up' like I'm never going to try again, but I know that I can't push the river. I can't make the corn grow. But, I can keep coming back to the present, what I am experiencing as the 'Present'. I can flow with the Stillness that asks me to step inside. I can understand that it is good and just to simply Pause. My kid kind of brought this all back around to me this afternoon, "You're too focused on 'out there' and 'getting things done'. Disengage from this world for a little bit and chill out." 
       Now, can you believe that I was so twirled up in the tornado of pressure in my center that I was going to sweep these words under the rug. Until some moments later I was sitting here at my desk, wondering still what else I could do to push forward, the words my kid had just spoken rested on my thymus area. The intention of the words felt like it was slowly melting into my chest through my skin, like some medicine salve or balm. I felt still. And then I started writing this post. XOXO
Sometimes you just have to Sit.

22 March 2017

Recent Reminder "Be Open to Everything and Attached to Nothing" (*)

       I do that thing too, where you're still having a conversation with someone, after that person has left the room. Sometimes the actual conversation ended just because it was the natural time for the interaction to draw to close, like when I am finished with my client interaction. I enjoy these highly charged interactions with the people who come to me for clearing, because they are always buoyed by a mutual curiosity for and love of this subject matter: past and parallel lives and worlds, growth, philosophy, etc. The permutations of interesting exploration areas are endless. So, sometimes after I have concluded the session, I am sparked off on some thrilling new avenues where downloads of fresh insights can to pour into my consciousness. Therefore, in this way, this sort of 'conversation' continues.
       I have been thinking and feeling into a situation I have experienced over the course of this past month that has brought me deeper into practicing the most profound lessons of compassion and detachment. I had a synchronistic encounter with someone that I have known casually over the past 20 years or so that resulted in being commissioned to do this level one work for this person. I accepted, because I knew that it was right, that I was put in this place at this time to do what I do to help this person.
       But, immediately afterwards, I experienced some very strong resistance to doing this particular soul's work. I kept entertaining flashbacks of past interactions and how I had almost always felt bullied by this person. This was an immediate red flag to myself that said to me, "This is where you Practice compassionate detachment." Oh yes, theory won't do anything for you without practice! Yes, this meant not using the distorted lens of the past- who I was in that past and how I perceived that other person, then- but, understanding this now encounter as *a Formless Present in which two Timeless Beings have come together in 'A Moment' to do an Important Work Together*.
       I am not saying that I just had this download and everything was clear as a bell and I went at this soul's record with accuracy and abandon. No. It took a while. I need to work through some layers, and I aimed to do it quickly! Because this kind of endeavor does not work without a clear and open mind and a clear and open heart. I did the thing that works for me- I erased the person from my mind, decided that they were a stranger to me (as really most people are, as I am convinced that the only person one can really ever truly know is one's own Self- and even this is a challenge for most people). I realize that the reason that I prefer my clients to be unknown to me is that it makes it so easy to be non-judgmental when I have no personal history with someone. Talk about 'stepping up the game'. This Soul really brought it to me!
       One of the things that I appreciate about they way that I work and know myself is- I know when my accuracy is 'off' because I feel it as certain distinct bodily sensations. It isn't just the feeling of knowing that I do not attempt to 'work' when I feel physically or mentally or emotionally tired, stressed, had a difficult day, or what have you. I understand that I am not being clear or non-judgmental when I feel my heart pinch closed, or a pressure in my head at the third eye, or my throat feels blocked. It varies, but any of my personal physical sensations let me know when I am in no shape to get accurate information from some Beloved's Record. And, that is the time to step back, way back... way, way back! 
       So, I stepped back then went at it again, and again, in small sessions until the entire soul profile was completed, blocks/restrictions cleared and all organized to deliver to one amazing Being! Whew!
       This was some the 'conversation' that I have been having off and on since that client left the room. One thing was Me, marveling again, about how we all are assisting one another on the trail to our own awakening.  These 'assists' come along wearing forms of all shapes and sizes. And, how challenging it can be for us humans to make space for others to change. I can say that because I have experienced not feeling the room to be who I evolved into with many people from my past, and I have also been the one who could not find the space for someone else to show me who they had become. And I think/feel to myself, "Damn! I of all people..." when I caught myself looking at this being as if they were the one that I knew before, before the clearing, before this clean slate was created. Another deep lesson for me: total Surrender to the Now. I ask myself, "How can I now Be with this being, completely freed from the past and now in this present state of clarity..." This requires a slowness and a steady, gentle directing of the Attention to the Present and into the Heart. This can be scary territory. It seems to be why we're here, though :) And how unfair to unconsciously pigeon-hole someone back into a reality that they are no longer experiencing.
I AM Present. I AM with You in the Now. Because we live, we grow. And so it goes...
Love from, Ursula Carrie
(*) this is a quote that stuck with me from Serena Dyer and Wayne Dyer's collaboration, Don't Die With Your Music Still in You

12 February 2017

renewal. reconfiguration

It feels that I am in a phase of completion, being seven years since I received my own soul realignment and then the attunement and training to do the practice myself. After a long period of not wanting to speak or write, of being quiet and observing, I am being directed to rechannel the information about the soul realignment services that I can offer to the community. So, I am intending that now, to script/explain what I do and how I can help you- but in my own words, from my own experiences with my own soul record, the records of my clients and the relationships I have realized with my helpers in spirit. 
I Thank You.