29 April 2018

Fresh From a Sunday Spin with the Son

I got to say, even with all I know and understand about this physical life, that it is always fluid and changing and that I am happiest and at my best when I am open to and going with that flow- I'm still a bit human in the way that I look for comfort in "sameness". What I mean is- wanting something that is really really good... to stay that way. Last year, I was financially able to get my son and I on a bunch of big 'break-outs'. Lots of travel was in our cards for 2017. I wanted to build on that and really start exploring this year. That was not to be the case, evidently. Then comes the self-discipline, once again, of Surrender. One of the many important tools in my Evolution Toolbox. So, since I had committed to getting into and being at Home in my body, to give a detailed focus to how this body is changing and coping with mitigating factors such as hormone changes and menopause and the various systems affected by this change- I started here. My son is also emerging from his world of technology and has opened up, all on his own, to things that I was trying to encourage him towards, years ago, but it just wasn't his 'time', then. Like Fishing!

       We have just returned from an almost 50 mile round trip, from our apartment in the woods, all around the NYC DEP watershed fishing lands and some of our closer NYS general public fishing areas. I had to force my teenage son up at 1 o'clock, which he was pretty pissed about. And I was annoyed that he had the nerve to be annoyed when I was putting my back out to support his newfound interest.
       But, people, once we got out of here, into the car and started the journey, guess what... FUN was being had. If I stopped, or went too slow in a parking lot, he's exclaim, "Come on, come on! I'm into this, now! Let's go!" And I say, "Do you have a problem with me slowing down to indulge my curiosity about something?" Answer. "No." And there was lots of laughter. That fifty mile round trip, barely a crawl away from our apartment, made me feel some Freedom. It felt like we were on the road again, like last year, but different, but still feeling that lift under my wings. I'm adjusting. I'll take it. 
       Whenever we feel stuck, like the wheels have been spinning for so long, it feels like we're just burying ourselves deeper in the mud... That's when we have to grab the shift and just- punch it! Sometimes it takes some effort to find any little thing to focus on to help lift the mood into that place where we all know Manifestation occurs- JOY.
       I'm going to ride this tiny wave. Maybe I'm even able to see the next swell coming. I look forward to that.
Ursula Carrie

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