MuMu's Grief

Monday, December 11, 2017

Our Dreamy didn't die then, back when I wrote my last post about her. She went the way that she wanted to. It's a story and an experience to be kept close to the family for now.

MuMu in his window on 11/11/17

       But, then there's MuMu, our 17 year old boy. Bigger than this, MuMu is Dreamy's son. He has never been alone, not for one moment of his life. Dreamy left her body two weeks ago tonight. She spoke to me of many things before she passed. MuMu has been looking around the apartment for her ever since, even though he was able to witness her lifeless form before she was laid to rest.

       Today, my son told me that Mu has stopped wanting to eat in the kitchen. Over these past 2 weeks, he kept trying to move over to mom's bowl, where he always used to go to try and push her out, and/or eat her leftovers. That bowl has been missing. He is lost. He's got no appetite today.

me and Dreamy in 2016.
I'm glad that I always
appreciated her,
and went slow enough to
always enjoy our time together

       MuMu has gone to every single closet, mewoing, and rooted out the underside of every single piece of furniture. He's looking for her. It gives me a lump in my throat right now as I type. Wherever she was, he had to be there with her. If she found a new spot to sleep, he had to wedge himself in. Every move that she made, he wanted to be in on it... All 17+ years of his life- until now...

       Today, I bought a bunch of pink silk peonies for her grave, which is in the back strip outside my bedroom window, so I can keep an eye on it. (Where I live, it is not unheard of for a hungry critter to dig things up to eat.) Two days after she died, I'd wood-burned her name and birth and death dates into a wooden cross to mark the pile of stones. I have been told by my Guides that I will be able to retrieve my baby's bones when it comes time to move from this place, whenever that will be.

       I could get another cat, but it would not be his Mom. Because of how I am, and how I have always communicated with the Nature Spirits (as I called them when I was little), I know that it's not just about "getting another cat". That's what most people would do. But here, apparently, we are being taught how to deal with an incomprehensible quality of grief. She left a space that I know that I can't fill for myself, how could I ever orchestrate that for MuMu?

       I was there when Dreamy was born (I had her Mama, Diva), and I was with Dreamy when she died. In 18 years, 4 months and 29 days with Dreamy, we'd been through so much- being homeless, having babies, moving around, painful breakups, being so poor we had to use dirt in the litter box and cook food from the food pantry for the cats, losing people we loved, and finally finding the brighter side of things... Almost half of my life, Mumu's entire life. Always together, no matter what. From Womb to Tomb, Birth to Earth- that's what I promised her, and Mu, too.

       We're just going to have to take it slow, stay heart centered, cry as needed, make adjustments, and do the best, like this, as we can. We're figuring it out as we go along.

MuMu on the left and Mom, Dreamy on the right in 2012
We miss her, so much.  

If anyone would like to send Prayer and soothing feelings

to MuMu, it's very much appreciated

as he goes through this very sad time.

Love and Blessings and Thank You.

Celebrate the Mountains

It's International Mountain Day

http://www.holidayscalendar.com/event/international-mountain-day/

Green MountainBy Li Bai

You ask me why I dwell in the green mountain;
I smile and make no reply for my heart is free of care.
As the peach-blossom flows down stream

and is gone into the unknown,
I have a world apart that is not among men.



Subtle Communications Mean a Lot

 If I ever doubt the communication between myself and my Family of Light, things like this just rub all the doubt out:

       So, after all this talk and reminiscing about how much I loved the silversmithing, soldering, etc....

~ I was on an errand yesterday for the woman that I help out, and Lo! And Behold! What do I find in the brochure,flyer section of the cafe?

** A card advertising a BRAND NEW SILVERSMITHING Studio! It's 10 miles away from me in the neighboring town!

       I want to express my Thank-Full-ness to Those Who Are With Me, for hearing my Heart, and sending me such Love and Encouragement.

       [If you are just at the beginning stages of your Ascension, be assured that these kinds of occurrences will become more commonplace, as you connect ever more with the Higher Aspects of your own Self. It's really quite reassuring to have these seemingly small things appear. BUT, they're not so small, are they? <3 font="">

TALK to your Guides, speak from the heart, and Let it all Go. Then Be Delighted in what appears, when you least suspect.

Much Love.

And Thank you for being Here,

-Ursula Carrie

      

       P.S.- Also, yesterday, the woman I work with/for asked me if I'd ever been to India. I said, well, no, since I haven't yet managed to cross either ocean (that's coming, I'm sure of it! just don't know when ;) ). So, we got to talking about Ayurveda a bit. Well, she winds up going through her collection of essential oils that she bought mail order from Auroville- Before I leave, she hands me a fresh boxed bottle of...... VETIVERT

       I could've passed out! My favorite magical oil- and SO rare to find where I live out in the country. I'd been wishing for some Vetivert for some years, not actively, but.... AND here it is! She had no clue about my wish for this particular oil. BUT Creator-Source knew ALL about it! She played her part in the Divine's plan to raise my spirits, and remind me that I'm not alone. 

       So, just to share- just when I want to give up. Just when it feels like 'it's over', something comes along with a little nudge to say, "Hey, we're here. We're listening. Take Heart, Beloved. All is still Well...."

2 Lifetimes ago- 1600’s Renaissance Italy, part three



La Primavara, by Bottticelli

(continued, recorded, April 2, 2015) AFTER May 2010

✦ I have to look back in my journals to tell you exactly when I did the past life research session in my Akashic Record that led me to discover that I had been in a Male Incarnation 2 Lifetimes ago and living in Italy during the time of the Renaissance there.

✦  I have had a love for Bach and Botticelli, since at least my early teens that I remember. Also for Shakespeare and that style of dress.

✦ The brief time of ecstasy with silversmithing in my late 20’s was long packed up and gone from my mind as I began the many months of intermittent inquiries into my own soul record, following intuitive leads as to my gender and whereabouts and time period of each life. I didn’t work “backwards” in what one may call “chronological” order, rather I allowed what needed to Speak to me to do so, and I followed the trail it showed me. 

 

✦ So it was with this life. My investigations revealed to me, very simply that:

• I was male
• I was muscular, about 5’ 10”, sturdy frame- with black hair (strands about 3 ½”-4” long, so not short, but no longer than hanging about my ears) that was curly more on the side of wavy, with a full, trimmed beard and moustache
• I was living in a city in Italy (I have not inquired which one)
• It was the Renaissance
• I was a Blacksmith
• I made weapons (swords, knives, daggers) for the aristocracy
• There were no wars being fought, then. The weapons were for collecting, practice, and display- but they were not simply ornamental.  I did not ask how my clients planned to use them.
• I did not make any sort of ornamental or artistic pieces, weapons only.
• I was one of the finest craftsmen of my ilk as such my services and wares were very exclusive (all products were commissioned from me)
• Even though I was a fine craftsmen and such as stated above, that did not make me part of the class of people who commissioned my finery
• Secretly, I did have a taste for the finer things- art, literature, music- which I kept close to my breast. It would not be good for me to reveal this, especially to any of my clients. One could not exactly trust them.
• I was married and I had 5 children, 3 of whom were negative souls (Draconian)
• I loved my wife, but those 3 of my children were an incredible sadness, to put it lightly, for me (constant violence, struggles, drama, turmoil)
• My work was my Lifeblood, we were one and the same
• I had a very rich inner life, especially when I was surreptitiously enjoying a concert or any of the other pleasures that needed to enjoyed in secret

I died in my early 50’s; although not specifically researched I feel that was caused by the many smokes that I inhaled all day every day as part of my trade.