13 December 2017
Monday, December 11, 2017Our Dreamy didn't die then, back when I wrote my last post about her. She went the way that she wanted to. It's a story and an experience to be kept close to the family for now.
I could get another cat, but it would not be his Mom. Because of how I am, and how I have always communicated with the Nature Spirits (as I called them when I was little), I know that it's not just about "getting another cat". That's what most people would do. But here, apparently, we are being taught how to deal with an incomprehensible quality of grief. She left a space that I know that I can't fill for myself, how could I ever orchestrate that for MuMu?
I was there when Dreamy was born (I had her Mama, Diva), and I was with Dreamy when she died. In 18 years, 4 months and 29 days with Dreamy, we'd been through so much- being homeless, having babies, moving around, painful breakups, being so poor we had to use dirt in the litter box and cook food from the food pantry for the cats, losing people we loved, and finally finding the brighter side of things... Almost half of my life, Mumu's entire life. Always together, no matter what. From Womb to Tomb, Birth to Earth- that's what I promised her, and Mu, too.
We're just going to have to take it slow, stay heart centered, cry as needed, make adjustments, and do the best, like this, as we can. We're figuring it out as we go along.