02 August 2017

"ANGELOVE", total solar eclipse trip posting, part one

I was in the process of writing this in a rather long reply in this morning's messenger text conversation with a friend. I thought, "This is becoming a blog post, I think I'll copy and paste." And I laughed as I searched for an emoji to express the thankfulness I was feeling for the friend's wise and reminding words. As soon as I went to apply the emoji, the whole conversation disappeared! So, here I am sharing this with all of you. Perhaps the events I share, particularly yesterday, and the events leading up to a story that is only at the beginning,
yet feeling already completed, can be of service somehow.

Yesterday, Tuesday, August 1, 2017:
       The air spring in the car's suspension system is supposed to be getting fixed today.  The entire car, is sloping toward the back right tire, the body touching the ground on a speed bump at the bank the other day. Things were grinding that shouldn't be. The problem began in June on the way to Vermont. Now it's really broken.
       And, two more problems have appeared that must be addressed. Saturday, when I got out of work, the driver's side window fell off of the track. It opened, but I forced it closed to keep out the rain and the wasps when I parked at the apartment. It doesn't open, now. 'Really off the track.
       And there's the pool of oily substance that I'd noticed on the asphalt near the back left tire Friday and Saturday mornings. That, I am informed, is a shock that needs to be replaced.
       I am sitting cross legged here on this hill of tree root that protrudes from the low bluestone wall that lines the lawn and separates it from the foot traffic of the sidewalk. It's an odd place to sit, I think, just here in this spot in front of the framing shop. Although, I am not in the habit of hanging around town, if I can help it, so I would really know where people choose to take a respite from walking. Walking around, however, is really the only thing for me to do as I await the car repair. I have no desire to shop and spend money in my own town that I want to go and spend in someone else's town. So, I sit down in this place, on the struggling carpet of grass and miniature wildlife that occasionally tickles up my lower leg, and pull a book out of my bag.
       Lately, I haven't been finishing any of the books I read. There seems to be at least one half, if not a whole, chapter or more that I leave unread. I am not sure of the reason for this. I kind of don't care. Maybe I just lose interest in the subject or the story being told (someone reading this in the future just thought, "Like this one right here."..... don't be surprised. It's ok 😏 ). So, since I had been enjoying the revocalizing of the information contained in this particular book, I take it with me in situations where there is so completely nothing to "do" that I have no choice but to persevere in the reading.
the book I pulled out of my bag to read under the tree
Last week I was so sure that if I didn't take this leap into the unknown and commit to this dream of mine, that I would be living thereafter with some heavy regrets. When it feels that clear and that strong, you have to move in that direction, even if there's fear. I can't say that I had been able to practice that in my younger days, but in feeling my impermanence as very, very real (at least in this body, and that's a whole 'nother post!) on and off throughout the past year, complacency is off the list of choices. Act now, or pay (with regrets) later.
       On Friday, in the morning before I went in to the job, I booked the final hotel that I knew I would have to book to avoid being booked-out. I felt very strongly that I needed to do this, an act of finalizing my commitment to this plan, before I went to work that day. The radius of hotels/motels getting booked out had been steadily spreading out in radius from the center line of the eclipse path. It was available yesterday, it may not be today. At that point, I felt a message from my Family of Light (which includes my personally assigned Guides, as well as Archangel Michael and a few other masters who communicate with me regularly) which told me to now pull back a bit and relax around the subject of this trip, as I had taken the precise actions that I needed to put myself to at this point.
       Of course, I didn't listen. I still tried to force my way ahead, each night throughout the weekend, and Sunday and Monday as I stayed home to save on driving the car with the bum leg, until the repair appointment Tuesday.
       But, now it's Tuesday, and all of these problems cropping up now with the car are unnerving me. I am starting to feel regret. Doubt is starting to nag and the thoughts become a runaway train. I'm also off the track, and I'm crashing headlong into the rocky bank.
       Logically I know this is what always happens. The testing ground. How committed am I really to myself, to my dreams, to the actual materialization of the dream? I understand but it doesn't soften the intense fear and regret that I am feeling right now. I made the commitment. I made the hotel reservations, non refundable (i.e. affordable) rates. That's it, isn't it? I'm committed to my self, to my dreams. I've shown that, haven't I? What's up with the car stuff?
       I say to myself, ("Self-soothing" as Abraham fans would know it) "It's good that these things happen when I'm still home, and there's still time before we leave,"  It's not helping, but I keep it up, then clear my head and find a piece of crabgrass just beyond my knees to loosen my focus on. When I feel sufficiently calm enough, I go to open the book and realize that I've almost finished this one. I'm at the poems at the end. I silently began to read:
We are all angels
We all come from heaven
With a heart full of light
Wise with no memories
Who have known the truth since time began
When did you lose your wings?
In which of your fears
Did you forget how to fly?
Open your heart again
Now the illusion of fear has gone,
Take back your wings
And be reborn to the light,
You are an angel
You have so much light to share
And there is so much need of light here......"
(excerpt, pages 179-181, We Are Human Angels, We Inspire Change, A Complete Course for Angelic Humans  ©2016 by Human Angels -available on Amazon)

       I finish reading the remaining stanzas of the channeled poem. Something in the center column of my body feels calmer.
I needed this reminder. The calm gentle readjustment to my emotional, mental and physical bodies that was effected by the taking in of the energies transmitted by the words made a knowing smile appear.
       At this moment, I looked up and saw a white van to my left,
briefly waiting in the uphill traffic.
* Its license plate read, "ANGELOVE"
I watched the van continue up the block, and disappear around the bend. "Ok, ok." I sighed. "I get it."
       I'm still not happy about what's going on with the car,
which also means the money and possibly the trip, but...
       I sit for a bit longer, take a deep breath, remember what's just happened and walk back down the block to the garage to see about the car...
(to be continued with part two)

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