We got back here just about a week ago.
Immediately, we went to the vet to pick our cats up and found that Dreamy has some sort of tumor in her mouth, which may or may not be cancer. The selfie that I took on Monday, after I had returned the rental car to Beacon, NY, (after I brought Dreamy to the vet for numerous procedures) shows me looking tired, stressed and haggard already.
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| at the Beacon, NY train station, waiting for the train to Poughkeepsie- 4 days back already looking as worn out as I feel |
I had one 8 hour day at the job on Friday. By 11am on Saturday (2 hours into the shift), I was doubled over with severe pain in my solar plexus. The upcoming endoscopy will tell me if I have an actual ulcer or not. I work with women, who are my mothers age, who can not stop obsessing about the size of my body. The one woman who harassed me for 2 months straight (because of the renewed/reduced size of my pants), so bad that the people I work for thought they had to call for a mediator, now keeps her back to me- ALL DAY LONG. Can you imagine this?
Meanwhile, I had made a *life desire list*, well my son wrote it out for me while I was driving on the return trek back to this place. I can't call it "home", for I have felt neither welcome or comfortable here for years, now. The bitch downstairs apparently has the same problems with my presence, which is constantly demonstrated with bizarre harassment throughout the 7 years that we have been here. I know that these women are just unhappy with and hate themselves, but I am not here on the planet to "fix" anyone. I am not interested in anyone unless they truly want to improve, like the clients who come to me for soul realignment.
I know you changelings, and those critters (i.e. negative entity attachments) that are attached to so many humans who are souls of the Light. I know, "growth" and "the light" is not your game. And I can tell you, as my Light Quotient expands, as I continue, while housed in this physical body, to transform into the higher energies, I notice the negative souls are coming out in droves to try and pick, and pick.
So, yes a list that I'd felt very clearly while I was feeling so incredibly empowered and full of life and joy on this amazing 9 day road trip with my son. Because, I could feel myself, then- my true uninhibited Self. It felt good and beautiful.
And now, I am dealing with the frustration of how effing slowly change often does occur in the physical. I want it now. Just saying. So, all I can do today, it would seem, is pray for assistance in working through all of the anger and frustration that I woke up with today, and let go of thoughts about going to the job tomorrow. AND, to not fall back into that complacency that feels like being in a prison!
I have a dear human who ordered soul realignment work, while I was still travelling. I need to cleanse myself of these negative distractions, so I can focus on the work that I am really here to do. And I am thanking her for this opportunity to do just that.
here's the video that relates to my comments below:
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