01 September 2017
Menopausally Speaking. Thank You.
It Happens When It happens.
I am a living, breathing changing human woman being, not a line on a chart or a piece of a pie graph. I am the only one of me. My body rhythms and manifestations are unique to my own energetic signature and soul's record. Though like-members of my species may exhibit the similar, or same, physical characteristics and responses to food and stimuli, no two are the same. Therefore, like puberty can not early or late, neither can menopause. It happens when it happens. And it is a process, not an event.
And that is the long and the short, the pain and the joy of it. It's sad. It's a relief. Then it's sad again. because there is, a loss of the feeling of that always potential- the potential to create another life. Something of this feeling must be built-in, at least to some I guess I'd have to say.
But let me tell you, an aside, or maybe my kind of straightforward since everything of how I relate to this physical experience of having a Life, is through this perception of having done so much of this, but not really, in different forms. And, this is the first lifetime in which I have been incarnated as a female, that I have been able to fulfill the desire or want or need to bear children. I bore and delivered one, at least, and the entire experience was as perfect as it could have been from my pregnancy to a two-push, nearly painless homebirth, to successful nutrition-ing and educating and spiritual earth parenting of. It was one of my callings in this Lifetime, to be a Mom. I knew since I was a little girl.
So, with that aspect for me of what it means to be a menstruating woman, well knowing that possibly sometime in the sooner future than I've yet imagined, my monthly menses will cease and with that so shall a lot of my familiar woman body. Like the ability to have children, not like I was planning to have anymore! The one I got is sixteen already! But it is about moving through this stage of life, of grieving the loss, or impending loss, of this sacred biological function. I have loved my blood, have reveled in it. I have been bleeding into rags for over twenty years, soaking them in water and feeding my houseplants with this nutrient-rich, beautiful blood water. I am blessed to have started intense training, at twenty-four years old, in the Wise Woman Tradition of Healing with my then teacher, Susun S. Weed.
Then the question that I ask myself is, "What now?" How do I want to move through whatever remaining days, weeks, months, years that I may be Blessed with on this earth, in this body. How am I integrating and bringing forth, in order to serve, all of these decades of study, learning and growth, not to mention the lessons of previous and parallel lives that have been steadily integrating into my life right now over these same decades? How am I being present about how this body has been changing, and am I being accepting and proactive about taking tender loving care of this body, the mind, the spiritual well being? Not only has the ongoing passage into older womanhood brought these queries into the front of my considerations, but the Total Solar Eclipse that I just traveled to experience, together with my son, is still spiraling through my energy fields.
I may need to say more about this.