15 September 2017

Bless, Digest and Love that Body

      I took a trip to the ER early in the summer. This was just before the HMO kicked in, so I couldn't go to my GP. I counted it as part of my commitment to experiencing new things, since I was uncomfortable going there. I'd never had a sonogram, since I had a minimally technologically invasive pregnancy with. They gave me one there. It was fascinating.
       The attendant nurse, at first had been greatly annoyed, and scolded me (!), for being in the ER because my GP didn't take straight Medicaid, and the relative minority of my issue. The pain in my solar plexus was a 7+, and recurring and I had been opting to deal with on my own since we lost our medical insurance ten months ago. I felt like it was time to have myself looked at and into during one of these episodes. And I am scolded for it!
       When he came back in to attend to more of my test charting I said, "Hey. Let's just talk like human beings."
       He was still rushing about, and breezing over me.  
       "I'm so sorry I had to come here," I whispered. 
       {retrospect perspective} I sometimes have that whole I should be healing and doing my own health care always, no exceptions thing that healer type folks sometimes have. The other trigger in here was someone being angry with me for taking care of my body self. 
       Fuck. Why was this stranger so pissed at me? I started to feel emotional, like choked up.
       I go again, feeling compelled to explain and/or justify myself, "I've been dealing with this on and off for months, now and I don't want to ignore it in case it's something important."
       I was really upset. I swear, a tear flushed down my cheek. I felt terrible.
       He turns in a bit of a flourish to face me.
       "Oh, no," he said with that 'awwww' tone. "Don't feel bad. I'm sorry!" 
       "I mean, I know where you're coming from. I know it's busy here," I offered.
       "And we're dealing with short staff," he added. 
       He placed his hand on my right shoulder, "Don't worry. We'll take good care of you."
       "I so appreciate the help with this," I said. "Thank you."
       He nodded and he was off. 
       But here's what I was getting to by telling the story of how the nurse and I softened to one another, because it set the stage for this Inspiration that I had, as I lie there receiving wonderfully refreshing intravenous hydration. And the moment that I shared it with him.
       So, I had been thinking of what an old acquaintance had said to the group in what I can only remember as a blurry din of conversations punched with laughter, smoke and a lot of laying around. "Did you know, when the sperm fertilizes the egg, the first thing that forms is one long tube?" That one line, the only bit of that night that jumped out at me and has stayed with me since. She was talking about the digestive tract, which goes in one long stretch from the mouth to the perineum. Giving a  quick read over some medical textbook type information does not prove the trueness of this declaration.  

However, it did get me thinking that every organ
and body system's function
is dependent on
the loving attention to the sacredness of alimentation.  
The Sacredness of Alimentation.
Doesn't that sound wonderful?
       It's so amplified for me lately, how much people fight with their bodies, like it's some kind of enemy that must be conquered. I have also been that way, so I know. But something begins to happen when you make a commitment to love yourself, no matter what.
       Less than a year ago, everything changed about the way that I eat, what foods I want and when. All of a sudden I manifested a natural aversion to almost all of my favorite foods.  It was not that I didn't want them, mentally, but when I put them on my tongue, my body screamed "Nooooooo!" That means most dairy items (cheese, butter and milk), bacon, bread, pasta, beer, beans, pizza (!!waahh, say it isn't so!!), and other things left my palate. Other foods came in. I can't even stand the smell of pizza, anymore. So sad. Or is it?
       Last summer I got a scholarship from the Omega Institute to do the week long 'Trance Mediumship' intensive with Tony Stockwell. I love channeling! I also enjoy incorporating as well. I want to do more of it. Much more. It feels awesome, there is a euphoria joy and a feeling of being completely safe in the Oneness. "It's weird", like people say. In that pinnacle year of 2014, I devoured a book by Sanaya Roman, called Opening to Channel, which many people learned about from the movie, Spirit Channelers in America. (scroll down the right side bar of this blog for a thumbnail player of this movie)  I read of her guide asking her to condition her body to be a better container for the higher vibrational energies that his fuller presence would bring. After the mediumship week, and the wonderful, ability affirming partner exercises that I experienced there, I was feeling some of that.
          "I want my body to be a stronger,
           more appropriate container for higher Light"
           was my general intention/declaration. 
       With some modifications to my I AM statements, things began to change... I did not notice at first. Like the foods I ate, and then my body herself. It was a pretty swift transformation, relatively. I think my digestive system was a bit shocked by this. I had to pull back from autopilot and pay attention. Many of my favorite foods, so I found out when I put them in my mouth, would feel so revulsive that I would need to wash my tongue off after I spit it out! Macaroni, potatoes, others. Those foods I don't eat anymore. Or, sometimes frequent consumption of certain foods that I used to eat, that still feel fine to eat, make me feel as if I had an extra layer of density all around my body. Then, I get uncomfortable in my flesh and have to stop, do a cleanse, some TaeBo. That density is uncomfortable. I am transforming and having to completely relearn myself, because the Self has changed. I am listening deeply and partnering with my body in preparing her for my Soul's seat herself here.
       The human body is comprised of millions of tiny living individualized intelligences. It makes sense to be kind to them. Your body is your partner in your soul's journey on Earth. Without it you would not be here, reading this or having this experience. We tune into and listen to those that we have chosen to partner with, don't we? At least in a healthy relationship. So, I've heard. 😏
  I'm getting to it. Life spirals around in little concentric circles. Every topic is a roundabout.
So, I'm laying in this bed in the ER, thinking and feeling about all of this, since of my difficulties have been in the general digestive system category. And I'm feeling into how every single microscopic living organism of the human body is completely dependent upon the proper intake and assimilation of nutrients. The heart, and all of the cells that comprise the heart. That's when the nurse came back in.
       Now, after all of that tension, and then being able to reach the true being inside the other, the connection in that moment as I shared this revelation to him was the stuff I 'keep on keeping' for.
       I repeated my old acquaintance's question, prefaced with, "Is it true that..."
       "Oh my god, you're taking me way back. I don't know."
       I repeated my hospital-bed-sitting-with-my-condition-Insight. He just kind of stopped. Every thing depends on the digestive system. Everything. He never really thought about it, he said.
       There was a moment that seemed kind of long, just of paused activity and silence.
       He paused before he left my cubicle this last time, seeming to be caught in some thought.
       As was I.

September 20th, I am going in for my Endoscopy, provided I've found an escort to the appointment by then. Let's find out what's going on in this Mind-Body.

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