27 September 2017
Missed Appointment with Death
9/15/17 Well, I cried all day, etc... Had a headache on all sides from it... long story short, I had my son do all of the doing, so I could keep calm, i.e. not hysterical and unable to drive.
"Uh, no, not really."
PS- Saturday, September 16, 2017-
I called the vet office that's just down the road from us. I spoke with a very compassionate woman, named Jen. I gave her a brief synopsis of the situation and the experience that inspired me to turn around and take my family back home, and she was properly horrified.
Because, I'm thinking to myself, as always when people are projecting all of their crap onto me and making me the blame for whatever issues they have, "Was it me?" I ask myself this, even if I have clearly done nothing wrong, or done anything at all. This of course is another pattern that had been drummed into me when I was a little girl, that everything was my fault, including being born!
Apparently, this is a pattern of self-regard that is surfacing to be looked at, acknowledged and dissolved, with Love unto Creator Source. I am being pushed to stand up and stand my own integrity, without fear of being punished for it. It's a biggie.
So, Jen, thank you very much for being horrified at how I had been treated in my grief. Jen says, "It's a hard enough decision to make without the staff treating you that way. That's horrible! I'm so sorry that that happened with you."
I said, "Well, thank you for the empathy, well sympathy and compassion. I felt so horrible. I mean, Dreamy was in the room when I gave birth to my son, ya' know? I had her mother, I was there when she was born. Eighteen years. And her son is here, too."
"Oh my goodness! She's your baby."
So, the rough news, now is that I currently don't have the cash flow to afford this vet's charges. $156+ for the euthanasia (the other vet charges $39-) and $256+ for the individual cremation (the other vet charges $177). DAMN. More phone calls must be made, more colloidal silver administered, more prayers to be uttered. But no more subbing. The veins and the muscles in my head can't tolerate any more of that.
So, that's that for this moment. My head still hurts from yesterday, and I need to get my self centered and clear headed, as I need to finish my psychic detective work and do the clearing prayer for my Soul Realignment client, who is also waiting on me for help.
One more day...