I could feel the manipulation energy squeezing the unmovable parts of my ribcage together. Do I need to say that it didn't feel good? I don't like being manipulated. It's not as subtle as the perp thinks it is. I'm way too in tune with what is not said.
That has evoked big trouble, on a subtle level of consciousness in those older Caucasian females from whom I had once sought approval, in a mimicking of the maternal-approval quest. It has always called forth nitpicking and intense micromanagement impulses toward me from my employer when I exhibit self-confident and impervious behavior. This has another soul-lesson implication for me, not quite for this post. (May be part of an upcoming post "They Are the Same Entity")
However, now that I no longer hold within my center the impulse to shrink myself and cleave to the older women, or enact any behavior modifications that will maintain their approval, the accusations against me are really flying. They complain that I 'don't like them', that I'm no fun, I'm unfriendly. Part of this being that I will not engage in gossip or negative talk about anyone, not even the strangers they criticize from the second floor window who are just innocently walking down the street. I also do not care to offer my opinions or join in when they are talking about the life choices of the family members of the employees who are not at work that day. I'm no longer actively engaged in approval seeking, or joining in spreading negativity. I'm just me. Very often now, I am quiet, just listening. The one woman, who has been the initiator of this workplace abuse, has now launched into consistent critiquing and deconstruction of every single thing I do at the establishment, in the guise of offering a 'professional assessment' This, even though the owner does things that same way as I, because she was the one who taught me, has been seduced into taking these faux-critiques into consideration.
This morning, September 11, 2017, I got inspired to look up, "emotional abuse in the workplace" Here are two articles that I have read. Unfortunately most of what I have read accurately describes what I have been going through at the job, because of a co-worker's jealousy, for the entirety of this year. It has turned into a "mobbing" situation.
When Conflict In The Workplace Escalates To Emotional Abuse
20 Subtle Signs of Bullying at Work
I checked off ¾ of the "20 subtle signs" list. The description of "mobbing", in the article about conflict escalating into emotional abuse, fits exactly what is happening now.
The article also says, " Dr. Heinz Leymann, a psychologist and medical scientist, pioneered the research about this workplace issue in Sweden in the early 80ties. He identified the behavior as mobbing and described it as "psychological terror" involving "hostile and unethical communication directed in a systematic way by one or a few individuals mainly towards one individual." Leymann identified some 45 typical mobbing behaviors such as withholding information, isolation, badmouthing, constant criticism, circulation of unfounded rumors, ridicule, yelling, etc. "
When your employer says, "We're not trying to push you out of here or anything, but...." And tells a story about how she should've fired the person (that you had replaced) much sooner, because the anxiety that her (the former employee's) presence induced in her (the employer) when she came to work. Then says that you had better make it right with the person in the office who has been bullying you for the past 10 months, or risk being fired because the atmosphere is too uncomfortable.
When, a few days later, the employer likes your Facebook page, after two and a half years of criticizing and ridiculing your project. Is that not supposed to be transparent? It is classic "#19 Seduction. Using excessive flattery and compliments to get people to trust them, lower their defenses, and be more responsive to manipulative behavior." Or, after threatening an employee, out of nowhere "liking" their blog. (20 Subtle Signs of Bullying at Work article, link above)