10 December 2013

today's facebook post

Well, I don't fall asleep before Dawn. This week I made a decision to accept it, because I've been fighting it, because society deems it "un-normal" to be awake at night. And I have been bringing my heart much turmoil and pain over this.  I made an agreement with myself to just get up and dig into the manual from the National Wildlife Rehabilitators Association. Some of my friends and loved ones poke fun at me because I have had to let go of being regimented to schedules and activities that don't feel joyful to me. Some people call it living on "Indian Time", but all that means is having the courage to go against the streams of mass consciousness conditioning in order to follow the voice of real Truth- One's Own Heart... And I do not feel very courageous, or even Inspired, lately... Because this, for me is an arduous process of letting go of an old life that is no longer who I Am, who I have always been destined to Become- because it has always been my Soul's Plan. I KNEW, in 2010- when I had my Soul Realignment done, when I "lost" my job of 11 years, when I was guided to become an Akashic Records reader myself, when Carla T. Smith was diagnosed with the brain tumor and I made a Commitment to either see her into full recovery or to see her unto her Transition into Spirit (which I did- literally- at her bedside)- that she was the last vestige of True, Heart based Connections with humans here in this area... I also had a deep knowing that all of these deaths- even moving from the apartment where we had lived for my son's entire life up till 2011- would be moving me in that direction, that it was Time for me to do what I committed to do when this Time in my physical Journey came... I did a reading exchange with Kaypacha (the YT astrologer that I post here sometimes)- My astrology chart says that I am coming to the End of a 14 Year Cycle and Big Changes are digging on down in- April/May 2014 I am to expect some deep change- and this will be grinding on through, like a Spiritual Dredging and Cleanse until September 2015- One year and a half to set me on a new path... Even though, Intuitively, I knew that all of this was coming, since years ago- I am still in denial, feel frozen in my movements while I see what is happening... And still I Know what I must do, what my Heart, my Gut has been alluding to for several years, now... And there is only me and I who can fund the courage to go forward, and leave what must be left to be absorbed by The All, in Love and Light... My son, who swears he doesn't listen to the Abraham when I have it playing, keeps telling me, "Mom, you HAVE to do what feels good! Just stop doing the dishes and all that stuff and just play a game or something..." Or he'll say, "Mom, follow your gut." when I feel badly about not doing an activity that I "think I should" do... Ah... these "little" reminders...I feel like I should "hold on"- to my hats? to my seat? I don't know, but I'm guessing that it's not "to the past"... F#*K- transition, transformation- so far it does not "tickle"... But I'm sure SOME-Being is chuckling... XoXo Love <3 p="">