06 July 2014

A Musing on the Blessings (hopefully) of Hardship, and search for Community

I am very appreciative that, when I was 24 years old, Susun Weed had ASKED me to apply for the scholarship for women of color and come apprentice with her, which I did over the summer of my 25th birthday. ONE of the important lessons I learned was the POWER and Importance of the words, "I HEAR YOU" And not just saying them, but REALLY Hearing, some call it Deep Listening.


Human beings go through a gamut of experiences while incarnated- there is pain and loss, elation and joy- and you know what? NONE of it is "Wrong"- GROWTH is a PROCESS, and the Wise Woman does not seek or attempt to fade or fix the pain that another may be going through on their growth journey.


But to lend an ear, to be an impartial Witness to another's rage, tears, anguish- without shirking away, without running to hide, to stand with a Kindred in the fierceness of that transformative fire and not be burned, and say, "I Hear You. I See You. I can't change this for you, but I am Here. I am Present."  I have been this person. People have been this person for me.


And then, sometimes, there is someone, or someones, who have been in your experience, who are now at a higher plateau, who not only say, "I Hear You." They say, "Take My Hand. I Will Guide You to the Next Threshold." And you go, and at the point of crossing, you let go of the helping hand and you Cross to the next level. I have been this person too. And people have been this person for me.


Today, not for the first time mind you, I realize that I am NOT going to be perfect, though I am pretty God-Blessed GOOD. I have a lot of Light and Love that moves through me unto the world. But, I also have pain and darkness because I am Human. I do not mind sharing my vulnerability, for there is truly no human, nor dark soul who can hurt me. But it is in this sharing, this baring of truth, that all of can feel more comfortable with the warts (ie- darkness, negativity, depression, sadness, imperfection, etc.), even while we are applying the soothing balm of healing medicine to them…


I have been a very solitary being all of my life, never the one to run with a crowd. I cherish my alone time, and I tend to need a lot of it, for I seem to spend the bulk of my days in some sort of meditation or prayerful state. BUT the events of this life over the past year have shook me down, shook loose so much- if not all- of the structures by which I have been living my life. And in the way that is the Universe/Life- I am being TOLD that it is Time to get out of this cave, be brave, and Ask, instead of being afraid of being hurt (as I have been again and again in my pre SR past), or not wanting to risk being vulnerable- for Spirit is ALWAYS here no matter what- and this Awakening into the NEED for Community to get on Together, even as small clusters of Soul Families and Like-Souled-Minded Individuals, is GLOBAL. It is the Future of Humanity. We are the pioneers taking those tentative steps forward, and many steps back, like a toddler learning to be confident with the new skill of Walking. This is the Mandate of the Soul of the World Herself. And I, one of her Sister/daughters, even in my tiny human, yet Vast Eternal Beingness, AM indeed one of these “toddlers” trying to take these new steps.

Community does not mean at all that anyone is going to be robbed of their individuality, or individual needs or expression. It is a coming together, in non-judgmental support of Others, be they others with whom we feel resonance are to whom are drawn, and even those with whom we share nothing except the Planet.


A Musing on the Blessings (hopefully) of Hardship, and search for Community

-Rev. Ursula Carrie