So, everything that I said before did happen. It happened in my Physical Life, lessons for my Soul. I mentioned that one of my chosen life lessons is "Confidence", moreover, that is Self-Confidence. The varying abusive relationships I experienced, in a nutshell that is not meant to trivialize my experiences, were part of my Soul's Plan to cultivate this particular life lesson. Through experiencing gaslighting and the other things I posted about, somehow I was forced to really tune, even deeper, into my own voice. The well spoken, "Know Thyself", apparently an integral energy/teaching in this rigorous training in Self Mastery.
When I had my Soul Realignment done for me in the Spring of 2010, the practitioner told me that I'd had a Scar at my 2nd Chakra. A Scar means that I'd had a Tear in my 2nd Chakra previous to her looking at my Akashic Record- and I'd healed it Myself through whatever Spirit work I had done myself. Now, at that time I had no idea that a Chakra could tear, or if it was, what-ever I could do to mend it! It was a testament to a previously unrevealed Power, the ability to heal myself, even though I didn't consciously know I was doing it.
Then, I thought back to my late teens and early twenties, just before I met my son's father. I was very sexually active, or at least I tried to be at every opportunity! At every opportunity, I sought to be the one whose energy was in control of the situation. At the end of my journey, living, or barely that, in the shadows of lower Manhattan, I started training to be a dominatrix at a gay men's S&M club! (That's when my spirit guides said, "O-KAY! Enough of this lesson. Next thing!" and my life fell apart and I came back to the Catskills, met Susun Weed, and a whole other Journey began...) At first glace, for the untrained eye, I may have looked like some sort of "vixen" (the soft brokenhearted hearted, but sexy vixen). In essence though, from the perspective of my Soul Record, I was unconsciously doing what I could to take back my sexuality. It evidently was effective.
The Soul Groups of Origination and the blocks and restrictions, at least on my mother's record (what little I was allowed to see before I was kicked out of her Record by my Akashic Records Guides*) explain all of that early childhood angst- to me. And there's nothing that I can do about any of their stuff, because one is a negative soul and the other vibrates in the lower fourth dimension [i.e. "doesn't believe in this stuff].
So, all of the things that I'd talked about in the beginning of the last post are a combination of the Soul Group characteristics and the negative entities, soul shifting, past life restrictions, etc... of my parents, which provided the fodder for the jump start of the learning of my major life lessons, and to steer me along this road I wanted to walk before I incarnated. Think Abraham-Hicks, "Contrast Creates Desire".
So, as I (and anyone) experience these painful situations, the extreme dualities/polarities, that are inherent in this Earthly experience, if we are Agile and are Initiated into doing "The Work" (this happens in an endless variety of ways, and multiple times throughout this physical lifetime), we take these situations as the lessons that they are, fully experiencing the accompanying emotions, and the changes wrought upon our Being. And with walking staff in hand, we carry on.
But it takes Courage, and Assistance. Fortunately, I have found it to be True, We Are Never Alone. Your Guide team and your Archangelic Masters, Ancestors (whomever is on your own personal team of Helpers in Spirit/of the Light) are helping you, right now.
May Your Paths Be Blessed, Galactic Eternal Soul Being of the Light.
May the Perspective of Your Soul give you Mental Clarity
and Emotional Ease, knowing that All is Truly Well.
Love and Hugs and *Ciao!* for now
(this of course is just a snippet- this subject could go on forever... because it does! Lol)
💞 XoXo
Ursula Carrie
NOTE about me and my son's father: I "wrestled" my son's father "to the ground" in late January this year. I said (about his Soul Realignment), "I don't fucking care! I'm doing this for you! Your son needs you to get your shit together!" He was so worn and "broken", finally, that he just agreed.
SO, here's the (what could be perceived as...) "kick in the teeth"; the fall down the rabbit hole; the hard swallow of the "Red Pill" about all That:
Almost since Birth, my son's father was dealing with a possessing entity, a soul-shifting situation [with a Grey! no less. WTF?! But it happens.], multiple negative spirit guides on his team, almost all the chakras were torn.... and so much more. I mean more, to the point where I thought, "How the fuck did he surVIVE this long?!"
Then when I was all done, like I said in another post, I sobbed for almost 4 days! I was exhausted! And grieving how so horrible, how grievous- that all of that violent mis-interaction and all of that abuse and emotional/mental torture... was essentially created and fed by all of the blocks and restrictions** on my Soul Record, combined with those on his Record, and the past life debts we were to pay to one another. {Not that we're *victims*, here, Folks. We're all making choices, constantly, whether consciously or unconsciously.}
All of this being big business from one lifetime ago.
The pieces of my own puzzle about that lifetime,
I discovered in my son's father's Soul Record
as I conducted the research for his Soul Realignment.
(early 1800's, near New Orleans)
It's a fascinating story.
I want to gather more information.
[I realize that I have not written about that one, yet.]
The bleed-throughs from that lifetime are
a bit too relevant to my current experiences.
BUT, I will tell the whole thing in the memoir that I put down a few years ago- but have been encouraged to pick it back up again... {Thanks Renee W.💖} By the time I get there (written, edited, revised, self-published), the apparent relevance of that life should be faded, I suspect. (i.e. "lessons learned").
So, I keep telling people I know,
"There's a lot more going on here than people are aware of."
I am going to touch on this, also, in a future [vlog].
I have learned one kind of a funny thing, though along the way: Just because someone gets all of the actual demons cast out of their life, it doesn't mean they won't still be an asshole! I wish I could LMAO about that.
* How is one kicked out of an Akashic Record? If one is not supposed to be snooping in some soul's Akashic Record, the information received will be confusing. You will receive opposing answers to the same question, given as "truth". Like, I would ask, "Is this a mono-souled individual with one soul in this body for this lifetime?", and I would be told "Yes". Then when I ask the opposite question, "Is this person soul-shifting, with two or more souls in this body?"- they would answer me "Yes". If I press on, it'll just get more chaotic. That means Get Out.
** Blocks and Restrictions can be, but are not limited to: Negative Entity Attachments (they can be past life attachments or present life- then this item and its influence can branch out in multiple forms and permutations!); mis-perceived past life karma; Golden Web Chakra Tears; Emotional or Mental Body Programs (and depending on which Chakra the program is being run in, will have it's own detrimental effect); Vows; Obligations; Spells; Godspark Damage... etc.
What does all of this stuff mean?
Come "see me" and find out!
😉 Lol
Your Soul will tell you when it's Time.
