- Lemuria: Chosen as the first incarnation that I would take in a new form here on Earth. I was, as I explained, a Healer and here of course to embody my Soul Blueprint of Unconditional Love and Light with the new humans here, who were also Galactic Humans incarnated here from myriad parts of the Galaxy. We shared that mission of rebuilding, creating, and supporting the energies of the Original Blueprint of the Earth experiment. Now, from what I am reading in one particular account of Galactic History, it was just after Maldec was destroyed in 46,686 BC that Lemuria was destroyed. One account says that it was destroyed by the authoritarian society of the Antlanteans, most of who had allied with the Draconians. Maldec for what I have read was a Reptillian society, which does make sense to me as the Reptilian races are known for having effectively bred-out the emotional counterpart of their makeup and are solely mental process oriented beings. Other Akashic Records readers have put forth that Lemuria is a society that preceded Atlantis, the two not having existed simultaneously. All I know is that in this, my first life experience incarnate on Earth, once again my Home and my way of life that I shared with the other Light beings and healers of our collective society, was destroyed by Negative invading forces. I, and many others, had sensed that this was coming. Many of us chose to opt out with some sort of physical death.
- 8 Lifetimes ago, Early 900 AD- Pictish Female incarnation (Matrilineal clan way of life, the Pictish nobility- my men, my family, my people murdered by the Scots)
- 4 Lifetimes ago, Late 1300’s - Female incarnation, enforced spouse of plantation owner in northeast Brasil, a marriage enforced by my father when I was young to form a business alliance with the man who was owner of this plantation (my home was burned and destroyed by slave uprising, which happened suddenly, during the night, total chaos- myself possibly murdered)
- 3 Lifetimes ago, Mid-Late 1400’s- Female incarnation, Healer, Bear Clan, Nambe pueblo/Chimayo area of New Mexico – equality amongst the men and the women of the clan (my Soul mate/my Husband, a warrior and medicine man, was killed by a disease we had never seen/experienced [was not small pox], brought by murderous Spanish scouts)
- 1 Lifetime ago, Early 1800’s- Female incarnation, powerful vodun Healer, murdered by those who reviled me for my Gift to heal, I was taken out of my home by force and brought to the faux vodun ceremony where they tortured, then murdered me)
Current Lifetime experiences with Feeling Unsafe / Threatened in My Home, from the earliest experiences that I am told of and that I can consciously remember:
- My father’s second wife told/reminded me recently that she heard of that when I was a baby, in a violent argument with my mother, my (Draconian) father had hung me out of the second story apartment window and threatened to drop me. I am imagining this was the condition if my mother didn’t comply with whatever demands he was making of her, that is to put it in a way that is much too polite.
- I do have a brief memory, before the memory cuts to black, of my mother cowering over me, like a shield, and the vision of my father with a set of barbells raised over his head and thundering that he was going to hurl this object at me and my mother.
- The first home, as presented in a dream a few years ago, where I had felt safe and comfortable was at 380 Main Street, Catskill, New York. The theme of this dream was actually about the 3 places in my life where I felt safe and comfortable, and was forced to move by some outside force. (Find the record in my journal of this dream) The move from this place occurred when I was 12 years old, after my grandmother had died, and our landlady also died and our building was being sold.
- The second home where I felt so safe and comfortable was in my life as an exchange student in Marechal Cândido Rondon, Paraná, Brasil. I was forced to leave there as the contractual conditions of the Rotary Club International exchange student agreement is that the student must leave the host country and return home at the end of the year. Returning to the United States, to Catskill, New York, to the home where my mother hosted the Negative soul, called her “boyfriend”, was a repeat of this pattern- forced from a Home and way of life I loved, by an outside force against my will, or feeling that I had no say in the matter.
- The third home where I felt safe and comfortable was at 54 Barrow Street, New York, New York, where I naively was renting a rent-controlled apartment from a friend of my godmother’s, not having any education or knowledge of the dangers of renting a rent controlled apartment in Manhattan. This situation included being verbally abused and threatened in the middle of the night by the apartment owner, who would enter the apartment while I was sleeping to scream obscenities at me, threaten physical violence, then he would steal my belongings and throw them away while I was on the night shift at my job around the corner. This situation “ended” in court and in a move to an apartment on Avenue B between 10th and 11th Streets, where my life spiraled into isolation, depression, attempted suicide, and finally a divine intervention which extricated me from the city and back to the Catskills-
- where more nightmarish home situations would ensue, one after another until the present day. I have not ever felt wither safe nor comfortable nor in charge of my own home or living situation. There has always been some outside force threatening my safety, my sense of security, a sense of “place”, or the sacredness of the space, the inner sanctum that my personal energy creates.
3:33 pm, February 18, 2015
I have been steadily writing this piece for almost 4 hours, now. And even though I am wanting to stoop and go to the kitchen to cook something to warm to eat (I stayed shut in here and have just eaten some snack from the box of Cheez-It snack mix I had in here), as soon as I went to the kitchen, the door downstairs slammed, twice, and I felt that same feeling that is too familiar, the one I want to be rid of for once and forever- feeling like an dark energy is beginning to surround me from above and all sides of my upper body. And I decided that I must return to my room, where Archangel Mechael, in communication through the use of my pendulum, has advised to write of a few examples of recent times whose effect I continue to feel most deeply. I really do not want to do this, and the examples are still charged with so much fear inside of me, I am afraid even to dredge them up to write of them here, even though it seems that I must in order for the process that I have undertaken here to be “complete” as it were. And I am going to list these things quickly. I do not want to allow myself to go into detail.- · When one of the teenage sons upstairs broke my son’s electric car/2nd birthday present from my mother and everyone denied it
- · When that same person broke into my van and stole the CD player and the inspection sticker from the windshield, and when I confronted him about it, he threatened to bash my head in and called me a fucking witch, amongst other things
- · When the landlady refused to get involved and the police told me that they would not come dust for fingerprints and that I could not recover my stolen items
- · When my “friend” at the time brought her son to my son’s birthday party, and her son stole my son’s birthday money from the birthday cards
· When I knocked quietly on the adjoining wall of my bedroom, because it was almost 4 o’clock in the morning, and the neighbor’s blaring television was loud enough to penetrate my earplugs- all night long- and he punched his side of the wall so hard that not only did all the walls shake, but so did my entire torso, and I lay in bed having a nervous breakdown for the rest of the night because I could feel his anger and the violence with which he punched the wall
This apartment, 343A Wittenberg Road, Bearsville, New York 12409
- · How the neighbor downstairs immediately began to try to manipulate me to “do things” for her, of course in ways that were meant to be “veiled” by the cover stories of “last minute”, her acting “victimized” by whatever, by a (fake) suicide attempt
- · The constant door slamming whenever she hears the first noise of footsteps across our floor, as it is completely quiet downstairs until I move across the floor, usually from my bedroom to the kitchen
- · How she has always been inside when I arrive in the driveway, as I have often seen her in the kitchen in her window, then ‘all of a sudden” she is outside chain-smoking and blowing the smoke up my porch (she knows the smoke makes me feel sick)
- · All of the threatening notes that she has left on my stairs, as well as stealing the things I have had on my steps.
- · The landlord defending her any time I have made mention of harassing behavior
- · That I was allowed to ask for her Soul group in the Akashic Records when I sensed that something was “off”, and I found out that she is of the Changeling Collective- who are the foot-soldiers of the Draconian race and who get their energy to survive through manipulation, chaos and depression. They create it in their environment through their own feigned victimization, therefore manipulating and creating chaos and attempting to create depression in the Beings who surround them. Then they draw from this energy.With this all written, I am now looking to and wondering what the next step can be in clearing this imprinted pattern from my Soul, so that it no longer in this lifetime, or in any subsequent lifetimes (even though, at this point, I want to never, ever incarnate here again) is affecting the most important element of my physical life- Home. As I stated at the start of this piece, I want my own this land and build Casa Luna and the Ursus Sanctuary. These are the projects of which I am la doña, so to speak. It can not materialize, nor can I be in full charge of these projects, if I have this imprint on my Soul. There will always be some threat on my enterprise. Although, as I also said, perhaps I will no longer want or need them, once this imprint is cleared. But I do so much want to create this healing sanctuary for the wild animals and a place in this area where humans can learn to reintegrate into the true life.
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